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To say the First Day of the First Test did not go to plan would be an understatement. At this stage, no one is willing to own up to having had the bright idea that we should travel to the ground by barge on the River Taff. No one knows if it was supposed to instil serenity, confidence or nautical haughtiness into the squad, but it did none of these…
 
Sarah handed out the Code of Conduct in preparation for the visit of the Prince of Wales on the Sofia Gardens pitch at 11am: Rule 1: Address him as His Royal Highness. Do not call him Tampon Charlie unless he asks for an example of a good sledge Rule 2: Mention Root in every answer. Using a wig as a beard is un-Australian, pro-Muslim and a slur on …
 
The Day o’ The Rhino There was a sense of foreboding at breakfast this morning, and it wasn’t because Coach 2.0’s digestive system was back in balance after ThunderGate. And it wasn’t because we had to check out of the hotel this morning so we could leave for Cardiff this afternoon direct from the ground. Neither was it because a cute little red ju…
 
Writers are known to be afflicted occasionally by writers block. In the same way, watching the progress of the red ball up and down a cricket wicket from the sideline can be one paced, one dimensional and deadly dull. This wicket is so playable The Prof is sure an inch of concrete is hiding beneath a pitch thick crust of dead matting a Chelmsford d…
 
On May 30, 2010 the European Court of Justice declared le droit d’oubli (the right to be forgotten) to be a human right [1]. It is an old non-right Sophocles and the Greek philosophers might have debated at length, if they had thought of it, in an age where Delphi was adorned with stone dedications from those bent on immortality. The French Revolut…
 
The Prof was very coy at breakfast, saying only that he had organised a little tour for us today. With the weather warming up and a couple more training sessions scheduled, I was hoping we were heading somewhere air-conditioned. After the morning net session, we had a quick shower and snuck away from the team. A Rolls Royce was parked at the back o…
 
The Captain signalled to Eve (Adam Voges) and I during the morning session. The Kent lower order were batting well to hold out our pace attack on a slow flat wicket. “What does he want? He keeps pointing to the sky.” “Sunscreen?” “Nah. It’s not even 20 degrees.” “Space junk?” I checked the spent satellite re-entry schedule for recovering English cr…
 
Coach2.0 cares enough about his ‘Dad’s Army’ team to organise a series of business seminars during the non-playing tour day’s to prepare the Dad’s for life after cricket. (To be clear, “Dad’s” refers to those over 30 who have children.) The first seminar last week was from Virgin boss, Richard Branson. I was sitting up the back singing nursery rhym…
 
Let the games begin! After the rather one-sided Tour of the West Indies (The Prof won all the games of Spot The Case of ABC Bias we played on iView) it’s good to be back in England. It should be an interesting series – England for some reason are all cock-a-hoop after beating the Kiwis in the ODI and T20 fixtures with a team of waifs and strays, wh…
 
The three of us – The Prof, The Freak and I – brushed out of Cape town early in the morning. I was so bleary–eyed I don’t even remember passport control or what airline we travelled except that the destination was Split, not Beijing. The Prof had convinced us that our recovery after the summer’s excitement would be assisted by a few weeks on the Da…
 
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