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1- Pipeline is down. Price is up. Memorial Day is coming. 2- Let me fill these gas cans and light this here cigarette. 3- Take off that mask. 4- Bankrupt? Only morally. 5- Hey, kid. Want a gun? 6- I’ll be damned. A good guy with a gun. 7- Tent City. The good kind. 8- Goodbye, Ellen. 9- See what had happened was I washed that ticket... See omnystudi…
 
1- Guilty Guilty Guilty 2- Systematic Racism 3- Officer Bryan B: The cop we need. 4- The Founding Fathers said 5- Ben Carson still shucking and jivin'. 6- God definitely has a sense of humor 7- “Ladders! Get your ladders here! $5 ladders!” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.Por All Things Comedy
 
1- Things so bad, killer cop is out of the news 2- Another mass shooting... Seems they’re illegal. 3- Even Pat Robertson is tired of it. 4- Hands up, ah hell, I’ll shoot anyway. 5- Back off, cop. I’m white. 6- Support which troops? 7- Where’s my beachfront property? 8- Black Lives work hard too. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
 
1- Hello, Florida. Joker... Governor... same thing. 2- Welcome to Texas. Wait-- Where ya goin'? 3- Lyin' Ted tells the truth. 4- Republican constitution is pro gun and anti vote. 5- She’s not supposed to salute, Stupid. 6- Sorry, Jay, I’m not apologizing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
 
1- Grandpa Simpson rambling defense 2- We’re impartial so let us help you before we vote not guilty 3- You cost me $2 billion. You’re fired! 4- Cheney as a voice of Reason???? 5- The GOAT was out there GOATing. It was Super. 6- Pranks gone wild 7- Who needs cards when you have a cannon? 8- R.I.P., Chick Corea See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy…
 
1- Black History is now. Congrats to Stacy Abrams and BLM on Nobel Prize Nominations. 2- You know you’re right when the right is mad at ya. 3- McConnell hates that the Dems have learned to be shitty like McConnell. 4- Soul Cycle classes do not an educator make. 5- Your honor, can I go to Mexico? 6- Vaccine and the God Gene 7- Don’t poke the GOAT 8-…
 
1- Biden said his name 2- Laser beams, Communists... Hello, Marjorie. 3- Got that Hydroxy. Anyone? Anyone? 4- Oregon is scary. 5- Don’t Game with Gamers. 6- You bought your way in, not out. 7- Nia Dennis is Magic. 8- Father Time is undefeated but he’s against the ropes right, LeBron. Right, Tom. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
 
1- There’s no crying in terrorism. 2- I was gonna be brave, seems I forgot my gun. 3- GoFundMe needed to buy rubber bullets and tear gas 4- Racists anarchists terrorists and thugs 5- No sympathy 6- Let's try jail time. Real prison time. 7- Hawley and Cruz too 8- Black on black crime, no. White on white solutions. 9- "That’s not who we are..." Yes, …
 
1 - Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa 2 - $600 whether you need it or not 3 - Where’s that other 700 billion? 4 - He almost got right 5 - Fraud. You want to talk fraud??? 6 - Privilege vs Punishment 7 - My aunt’s cousin’s stepson’s girlfriend died from the vaccination It's true I read it at Q Anon 8 - Wal Mart Justice See omnystudio.com/listener fo…
 
1 - Say his name Casey Christopher Gordon 2 - Be consistent in your BS 3 - You’re a hacker, or you have google 4 - Who needs republicans with Dems like these 5 - Mandatory Retirement is a thing 6 - Bill Gates is right and he invented it 7 - Listen to Coach K 8 - Intergalactic Space Federation. Why the hell not? 9 - Is this who we’ve become. No its …
 
1- Go back to your baby desk and watch Schoolhouse Rock. 2- I just need to practice lying. 3- Candace, please shut up for Christmas. 4- You’re under arrest for spreading a REAL virus 5- Rolling coal for assholes 6- Do not say stay home from your Mexican resort 7- Bankruptcy to billions. NICE. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
 
1- Biden/Harris WIN 2- All it took was counting the votes 3- There are doctors on Biden's Covid team. It's getting crazy already. 4- NO, don’t feel sorry for Trumpers! 5- FOX NEWS experiments with truth 6- We are unblocked 7- Don’t forget the Progressives 8- Funny thing happened next to the porn shop... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy infor…
 
1- Who Won? Who Knows? 2- We closed Trump U. How is the Electoral College still open? 3- Rain, snow, sleet, & hail? YES. Ballots? NO. 4- More states legalize much needed weed 5- Even in California racism wins, again. 6- Same senate, different day. 7- The militia is illegal. Someone tell law enforcement! 8- Kanye! Say it ain’t so! See omnystudio.com…
 
1- Die for dear leader, or at least hospitalized. 2- Trump Office of Science? 3- Daddy Putin gives baby hands a talking to 4- Handmaiden on Supreme Court 5- Bring your gun to the polls: what could go wrong? 6- Smaller gub’mint unless it’s my gub’mint 7- Say his name, Walter Wallace Jr, again 8- Dodgers win the series See omnystudio.com/listener for…
 
1- Sham Hearings 2- What if she were Muslim? 3- “She's a mom and a Marine.” EXACTLY. 4- Don't drop your ballot in the box 5- Vote Vote Vote. Drive’s 'em crazy. 6- Lakers win, LeBron wins 7- Watching Lewis Hamilton is watching history 8- Rona. Your bubble is not America, not even ‘merikkka. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
 
1- Trump gets Covid… I think. 2- Debates? You ever played chess with a pigeon?! 3- 4 million people, 1 ballot box. No voter suppression here. 4- She went to Rhodes College so she’s a Rhodes scholar, next question. 5- Rode across the west. Flood, depression, hope, and funny. 6- Back to the virtual world See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy inform…
 
1- Her Life Mattered 2- Wanton Endangerment of Justice 3- Truth? About White Supremacists? What government is this? 4- What IS a hate crime, Iowa? 5- RIP to the Notorious RBG 6- The race to hypocrisy will be won Saturday 7- Dave has done it again 8- I guess I haven't, I’m underrated 9- Jesus told you to wear a mask See omnystudio.com/listener for p…
 
1- 3 Men and a Baby 2- Sacrifice for Dear Leader 3- Demon sex makes me sleepy 4- Please keep your crazy behind the blue line 5- "Everybody hates me." Yeah. 6- President Pelosi 2021 7- $600? No. A few billion here and there? No problem. 8- Sports is back, sort of. 9- She should probably find something new See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy info…
 
1- RIP John Lewis. Stay out, Mitch McConnell. 2- My quote is Fake News 3- He caught the Fake Virus 4- Old Time Religion: Now with New and Improved Virus! 5- Mask wars 6- 'Rona in sports and strip clubs but try the wings 7- The Silent Majority See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.Por All Things Comedy
 
1- I’m back to new normal 2- He passed the test, so did a brick. 3- A Real American Hero 4- Teachers fighting to save kids. Governor, not so much... 5- Dr Fauci's worst worst nightmare 6- No, Kanye, you idiot. NO. 7- The Happiest place on earth and there’s sports. 8- Thank You, John Lewis. R.I.P. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
 
1 - Obama didn’t test for a disease that didn’t exist. Damn him... 2 - Game show host... doctor... same thing. 3 - If the say open schools, you better close the schools. 4 - If you volunteer for the virus, it isn’t tragic to lose you. 5 - Let's have a convention. Pandemic, uh, I’ll skype in. 6 - Black lives don’t matter, especially not my husband's…
 
1- Tragically, we’re shooting again. 2- Leading off stupid, the undisputed champ, Trump. 3- Kanye, enough clown shit. 4- Can’t cancel Hamilton 5- The indestructible 20’s 6- Brain eating amoeba will starve in Florida 7- Bison don’t like selfies 8- My Hulk mask is manly, bitches. 9- Karen don’t know looting 10- No mask, no worries. My store deals in …
 
1- Atlanta on fire 2- Hanging is always suspicious 3- Juneteenth dog whistles and orange stupidity 4- Please tell The 'Souf they lost 5- Sorry, Karen, I’m not quick to forgive. 6- Can we get marketing on this defund thing? 7- Corona cases up. We ain't staying inside. 8- 8:46, watch it. Dave Chappelle is the G.O.A.T. See omnystudio.com/listener for …
 
1- Long week 2- Boogaloo boys are doing CrossFit with Meghan McCain for Trump. That’s the first 5. 3- Fox News is still Fox News 4- Sports accusations, apologies, and racism 5- Shut up and dribble? No, Laura you should just shut up. 6- Police in trouble on video. Keep breaking laws and heads on video. 7- Black Live Matter Plaza 8- Ella Jones, the f…
 
1- Murder, riots, shootings at the beach... it’s only been a week. 2- George Floyd murder, after Aubrey murder after, Taylor murder... Can’t keep up. 3- You realize thugs and looters come in white too? 4- Hey, Kanye, listen to Taylor. 5- Twitter says, "Shut up Trump." 6- It’s not the testing, stupid. 7- Amy can’t go to the park 8- You do realize th…
 
1- Dog whistles, I mean, racist signals everywhere 2- He ain’t bright 3- Obama congratulates graduates 4- Does he stay or does he go now? 5- Religion vs science: You lose. 6- A Florida man. Imagine that. 7- She flies with with the birds See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.Por All Things Comedy
 
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