Crossbow público
[search 0]
Mais
Download the App!
show episodes
 
Artwork

1
There Will Be Crossbows

James Nelson and John Robison

Unsubscribe
Unsubscribe
Mensal
 
There Will Be Crossbows is a long-distance improvised comedy podcast, featuring frequent collaborators and veteran improvisers John Robison and James Nelson. We make up songs and other bits, record them, send them to the other one to finish, then meet online to record some scenes. And yes... there will be crossbows.
  continue reading
 
Loading …
show series
 
The Suburbs: the most dreaded frontier of the modern age. In this ruthless, action-packed episode, terrorists begin their hostile takeover of the a neighborhood, only to get sidetracked with second jobs and malfunctioning security robots. Also at some point the episode just becomes about pizza. Sorry about that.…
  continue reading
 
Wow, our first live show in 8 years! We booked the fanciest venue available to us, James's living room, and performed in front of an enraptured audience consisting of three of our family members! It doesn't get grander than that, folks. To top it off, we bring back the legendary "TrivProv" format as a throwback to the historic Bonner Springs improv…
  continue reading
 
What is improv, if not breaking apart something into little pieces of material? Please, don't reflect on that sentence, it makes less sense the longer you thing about it. The theme is "granulation", and we go from a hostile intern takeover of the sugar factory to a behind-the-scenes look at acclaimed actor Hayden Christenson's award-winning perform…
  continue reading
 
Order! Order in the podcast! Has one word every implied so much coordination, organization, and control as "order"? No, at least not until we debut our brand new word, "Controorganization" next week. For now, you'll have to make due with this episode filled with virtual reality gone wrong, oligarchic tornados, and chaos in the kitchen. Listen now, …
  continue reading
 
Listen up, cause it's time we finally talked about the unsightly fleshly appendages which allow us the gift of hearing at the expense of being unsightly fleshly appendages. A little kiddo keeps getting his ear-doctors fired, the Italian Vincent Van Gogh shows his eccentricities, and an a cappella bassist with a rather unfortunate face comes up with…
  continue reading
 
It's Jiggle Time! In what is probably the least stable episode yet, James and John riff on the many uses of the word "jiggle" in a free-form improv set. A young man is put to the test of adulthood by his cruel father, the dance callback for CATS goes awry, and some dumb criminals attempt a simple breaking and entering job. You'll be jiggling with l…
  continue reading
 
Mmm, shrimp! As any good improvisor knows, food makes the BEST suggestion for a longform show, and this is no exception. A restaurant customer's deep hunger can't be satiated, a weakling hits the empathy gym, and the Shrimp Shrack tries to expand its menu. Pop a few of this episode into your mouth and don't think twice!…
  continue reading
 
Clop, clop, clop -- it's time for a whole improv show based on the most beloved of tropical fruits, the noble coconut! Tropical Tony hires a Coconut Boy to help him advertise, two poor saps find themselves stranded on a tropical island, and a pair felons escape to the Maldives only to be pursued by hitmen sporting questionable foreign accents. Befo…
  continue reading
 
Thish eeshpidos off Thrawiba Croshbrwo - oh, sorry, let me take these marbles out of my mouth so you can understand. It's a brand new longform-style improv show from the Crossbow dudes, and the theme is "Marbles"! Michelangelo coasts through a commission in Renaissance Italy, a couple of kids find their passion, and a home remodel unburies more tha…
  continue reading
 
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WE MADE A NEW EPISODE IT'S CALLED LOUD AND IT'S A LONGFORM IMPROV FORMAT THAT YOU'RE GONNA LOVE AND - oh, sorry, you're just right there. Inside voice. Got it. Two engineers try to solve a very unmysterious mystery, a feud develops between local bell-tower operators, and a baby runs off for the enchanted forest, only to be pursue…
  continue reading
 
This week we try out a classic longform improv format to shake up the show a bit! The dark truth behind Settlers of Catan is revealed, a colonization mission to Mars is rife with family drama, and a man has a very interesting approach to designing his home. Expand your own horizons with this wacky episode of Crossbows!…
  continue reading
 
The weather is getting warmer, so we all got PATIOS on the mind, right? Well, instead of spending time outside, why don't you enjoy a patio-themed improv show instead? A guy mansplains his way through a wine tasting, some friends attempt the Biergarten Challenge, and Berb's Discount Patio Furniture gets an unusual customer. Sit back and enjoy the i…
  continue reading
 
Has one word ever yielded so many possibilities? Yeah, probably. But this week's theme is "note", so that's what you get. An over-expressive actor gets kicked out of the high school musical and gets creative revenge, a student gives her friend a very considerate rejection to a love letter, John practices being a good Christian woman, and James sing…
  continue reading
 
Shiny as a trumpet and loud as a trombone, it's an episode almost as precious as its metal namesake, "Brass"! Two band buddies have to make a tragic decision during auditions for first chair, the king of Switzerland is sent gifts from foreign am-brass-adors, and a car mechanic gets a mysterious new customer. Have a listen to this brand new episode …
  continue reading
 
Like a sudden light of inspiration above your head, this episode will shine through the darkness to bring you a flash of luminescent comedy. And if you're wondering, yes, I do hate myself for writing that sentence. John explains why Predators keep him from gardening, a hardware store customer gets three wishes, and a pirate buries an unconventional…
  continue reading
 
We're trying to capitalize on other popular media involving Vision, so here's a whole episode about it! John discusses his various laser surgeries, a state fair attendee has to decide between a corndog and his wife, and a degenerate watches such obscene internet videos that his eyes rot out. All this and more unsightly things! Have a listen and mak…
  continue reading
 
Oh, God! This was supposed to be a gardening podcast, but it got exposed to radioactive waste and now it's turned into IMPROV COMEDY! AAAAGH! Listen in horror as James and John weigh in on useless superpowers, St. Peter takes it easy at the pearly gates, and a poor two-headed child is tormented by face-licking. Quick, listen, before this thing grow…
  continue reading
 
The theme is "Juice", so whether you're a sugar junkie, a regular junkie who just loves improv, or a literal lump of sugar who has come to life and wants to experience human entertainment, this one is for you! James and John hash out their vastly different juice preferences, a parent accidentally gives her child an adult beverage, a secret agent mu…
  continue reading
 
Allow us to indulgently express our true selves with this compilation of deleted scenes, each revealing a different part of our tormented souls. Like the scene where elephants have sex with bad stand-up comedians while they're performing, or the scene where two guys try to sell bulk kittens on the internet. What do these scenes say about your own i…
  continue reading
 
No need to double-check your GPS, you're right where you're supposed to be. In our "Map" episode, we travel to destinations both physical and metaphorical in an exploration of what it means to be a human, specifically a human listening to an improv comedy podcast. John gets lost by trusting the questionable navigation on his budget cell-phone, Ponc…
  continue reading
 
In one of the strangest themes in the history of the show, we've done a whole episode on "sentient ovens", and if you're the type of person who stays up late at night whispering sweet nothings to your kitchen appliances only to feel emptiness inside when they don't respond, then this one is for you. And even if you're not that type of person, you p…
  continue reading
 
Hold on to your seats, 'cause it's an entire episode on "Office Chairs"! Look, we know, office chairs are possibly the single most overused source of comedic material, but for good reason: they're hilarious! A chair? In an office? Bwahahaha!!! Anyway, we think we have a really unique spin on this one, so give it a shot. James unknowingly assimilate…
  continue reading
 
In the most boring episode of anything ever recorded, it's "Milquetoast". This episode is so bland and uninspired that you're bound to fall asleep within the first three minutes. You'll sleep through James and John talking about bread (yawn), an unusual take on a classic "Our Town" scene (god that play is boring), and a song about a boring person w…
  continue reading
 
We're kicking off the new year with a new episode, and this week's theme is "Barnyard"! Put on your overalls and round up the hogs, 'cause we got a long day ahead of us. James details his failed barnyard-themed wedding proposals, Old MacDonald and Young MacDonald are confronted with generational divide, and the ugly duckling adeptly handles being b…
  continue reading
 
Today's installment of our year-end retrospective series is our favorite interviews from Crossbow University! We bring in loads of special guests, all of whom are clearly us doing voices, to answer pre-recorded questions under the guise of being lessons for a highly questionable educational institution. Here are the best ones of the year!…
  continue reading
 
It's the first episode in our special end-of-year series! Count down to the new year with There Will Be Crossbows as we roll out a new episode each day this week. Today, it's our favorite Amazon Reviews of 2020! Have a listen and then make sure to drop by the Crossbow Club on Facebook so you can vote for your "Amazon Review of the Year"!…
  continue reading
 
In this episode, we're wrong about pretty much EVERYTHING, so get your palm ready for face-palming. A quick discussion about the weather quickly degrades into aimless complaining about corporate greed, a little kid begrudgingly reveals why he still believes in Santa, and the contestants of a beauty pageant show their unusual talents. This episode i…
  continue reading
 
Ribbit! The slimy green ones get their day in the sun (frog doctor's note: direct sunlight is not recommended for frog health) in this week's "Frogs" episode. James is visited by three magical frogs in the middle of the night, John turns several bad drivers into amphibians, and a couple of drunk drivers get pulled over by a cop who asks a lot of qu…
  continue reading
 
Like the sharp sound of your favorite baseball player hitting a home run, this episode brings you back to your childhood, a claim that we're basing on the assumption that you grew up listening to a lot of improv comedy podcasts. John makes a deal with the underworld to preserve his "youth", Emily Dickinson finally gets to meet Death, and a fellow s…
  continue reading
 
A special theme episode to warm you up for the holidays! This one is all about relationships, and it features a gaggle of scenes that were cut from previous episodes, a slightly smaller gaggle (a giggle?) of new content to flesh out the theme, and the triumphant return of "Questions and Answers", one of our original formats. A couple finds a myster…
  continue reading
 
Loading …

Guia rápido de referências