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Tammy (Child Custody Coach) shares her experience and insights gained from her own divorce and subsequent step family. She also worked alongside her late husband, Attorney Thomas D. Ferreira, for over 15 years as a paralegal and mediator before beginning her child custody coaching practice in 2019. Thomas passed away on May 1, 2023 and Tammy continues to share the wisdom she gained from Thomas through the years as well as her own perspective. Tammy specializes in helping parents who are deal ...
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It Won’t Always Be This Way – Episode 288 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We tend to feel like our day-to-day life is static and that whatever we are going through will last forever. However, life is contact change. So, if you’re in a rough season or trial, the good news is that it won’t last forever and if you’re in a good season, the le…
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Exchanging the Children – Episode 287 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Even though exchanges of children generally happen one to three times per week depending on your parenting schedule, we rarely seem to talk about how to have them go smoothly. These exchanges are obviously stressful for divorcing or separating parents but they can be ex…
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The Nature of the Narcissist – Episode 286 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding the nature of the narcissist is one of the keys to managing them effectively. Narcissists do not see the world the same way a non-narcissist sees the world. Our values and morals don’t typically match the values and morals of the narcissist. To win th…
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3 Tips for Testifying in Your Child Custody Case
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3 Tips for Testifying in Your Child Custody Case – Episode 285 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Giving testimony on the witness stand is one of the most stressful parts of a divorce or child custody case. But there are strategies you can use to help you stay calm and make a good impression on the Court. To learn more about how I can suppor…
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Change of Circumstances in Child Custody
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Change of Circumstances in Child Custody – Episode 284 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. How do you know if your child custody situation has a material or substantial change of circumstances? What are Judges looking for? In this episode, I’ll share some stories on past cases and talk about some of the more common circumstances that Judges t…
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Do Judges Understand Narcissism? – Episode 283 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you are dealing with a narcissistic or high conflict ex, it can be frustrating to try and get the Court to understand that your ex is a narcissist. If we could just get the Judge to understand what we’re dealing with, that would solve the problem, right? B…
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False Allegations In Child Custody – Episode 282 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents deal with false allegations from the other parent. This can come in many forms. Sometimes, it comes through the child, sometimes we are dealing with it in our communication with the other parent, and sometimes, we are dealing with it in the court…
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Overthinking In Child Custody - Episode 281 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you are an overthinker like me, then you probably analyze everything your co-parent does or says. And you’re always trying to figure out their agenda. Overthinking would seem to give you a logical advantage but in reality, it often results in an emotional disad…
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Narcissists vs. Empaths - Episode 280 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. It is very common for a person that is an empath to end up in a relationship with someone with narcissistic qualities. The two people have often experienced similar childhood traumas but the effects of the trauma manifest in completely opposite ways. This is why the pus…
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Nesting in Child Custody - Episode 279 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Nesting is a parenting arrangement where the children remain in the home and the parents rotate in and out. This is an uncommon arrangement and is rarely used by the Court. However, it can be necessary for financial arrangements or when you have an ill or special needs…
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What Toddlers and Narcissists Have In Common
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What Toddlers and Narcissists Have In Common - Episode 278 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many of the behaviors we experience with our toddlers are reflected in similar behaviors from narcissists. And while we expect bad behavior from our toddler, it’s not so cute once a person reaches adulthood. The good news is that we can learn effect…
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Why Narcissists Win In Court - Episode 277 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Court can be a scary process when we are afraid that our ex will be able to charm and manipulate to get their way. And the Court does have limited time and resources to try and figure out what is going on in your case. But, there are things you can do to make it ea…
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Have I Screwed Up My Case - Episode 276 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We are all human. And when you’re going through a divorce or child custody case, you are a human under immense amount of stress. Unfortunately, we sometimes make mistakes that us feel like we’ve screwed up the entire situation and that we will never recover. But the g…
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The Calm Before the Child Custody Storm
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The Calm Before the Child Custody Storm - Episode 275 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, we often see cyclical patterns of behavior and emotions. So, when things are really calm or quiet, we are sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. There are things we can do in the calm that …
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Breaking Toxic Patterns in Child Custody
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Breaking Toxic Patterns in Child Custody - Episode 274 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We usually think of toxic patterns in the context of romantic relationships. When a relationship ends and there are children involved, we often see the toxic patterns of behavior continue through the co-parenting. If you weren’t able to break those patt…
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Weathering the Seasons of Child Custody
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Weathering the Seasons of Child Custody - Episode 273 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are struggling in our child custody and co-parenting situation, it often feels like the struggle will go on forever. But the only thing in life that is constant is change. And, like everything else, your child custody and co-parenting is a consta…
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Breaking Up With Narcissism - Episode 272 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we are in a relationship with a Narcissist, we actually become addicted to this type of toxic relationship. Our body goes through chemical changes that are similar to addicts. In this episode, I’ll talk about how to stop the addictive cycle and break up with na…
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Does Grey Rocking a Narcissist Really Work?
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Does Grey Rocking a Narcissist Really Work? - Episode 271 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. “Grey Rock” is a common technique for handling a narcissist. This technique has a lot of useful points such as disengaging, minimizing contact, and not reacting. However, the Court wants you to cooperate and support the other parent. So, how do you m…
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Presenting Evidence in Child Custody Court
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Presenting Evidence in Child Custody Court - Episode 270 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. One of the most effective ways to present your evidence in Court is by telling the “story” of your case. Most people mistake this for lots of details and background but as they say, less is more. You have a handful of tools and limited time to help th…
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3 Tips for Success in Child Custody Court
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3 Tips for Success in Child Custody Court - Episode 269 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Almost everyone is nervous when speaking in Court, even attorneys. Whether you’re representing yourself or you have an attorney, it’s important to take steps to help you feel comfortable in the courtroom and successfully present your information to the…
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What Is Your Biggest Failure? - Episode 268 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Failures in life happen to everyone and they can teach us some of our greatest life lessons. If you feel like you failed in your relationship, in your co-parenting, or even in your parenting, this episode is for you. Learning to take your failures and turn them to…
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Narcissists Never Change – Episode 267 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we deal with high-conflict personalities, we frequently think that if we choose the right words or the right logic to deal with them that it will change their behavior. Or, we hope that as they mature and learn lessons throughout life that they will become easier …
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Reducing Conflict With A Narcissist – Episode 266 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Reducing conflict is difficult to do with a co-parent but it becomes even more difficult when you are dealing with someone who has a high-conflict personality like a narcissist. In this episode, I’m going to share 5 tips that will help you to reduce conflict…
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Why Did You Choose A Narcissist? – Episode 265 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Understanding why you chose a narcissistic partner is the key to not repeating the mistake! We are often looking to the other person to validate us, to shore up our insecurities or to make us feel better about ourselves. But as the relationship wears on, we oft…
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When Your Narcissistic Ex Lies In Court
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When Your Narcissistic Ex Lies In Court – Episode 264 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Lies from the ex is without a doubt the most common complaint we hear from clients during the court process. Why does this happen and is there anything you can do about it? The solutions are often counter intuitive but there are steps you can take to hel…
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