A discussion forum about matters relating to sex addiction from the point of view of psychoanalysis
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Wendy Conquest, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone, and Tim Stein invite guests to join an ongoing conversation about sex, addiction, and relationships. Wendy, Dan, Jeanne, and Tim are experts in the fields of sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and trauma resolution.
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RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery
NLP master life coach, Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coach, FDN-P
RecoverU is a podcast where we talk about sex addiction, betrayal trauma, mental, emotional and physical health, faith, and anything and everything needed to RecoverU to your most authentic self that God created you to be.
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On Sex, Love, and Addiction, Dr. Rob Weiss, sex therapist and author of a dozen books on sex and relationship healing, interviews global experts like Dr’s. Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Stan Tatkin, and Helen Fisher, Dr. Kenneth Adams among others. This podcast features robust discussions focused on healing from chronic infidelity, cheating, porn, and sex addiction, along with the pain of relationship betrayal. Dr. Rob is Chief Clinical Officer for Seeking integrity Treatment Centers. H ...
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Helping you better understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction; guiding you through the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be.Maximise the living of an inc ...
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The Femdom Journey Podcast - From Femdom & Findom Addiction to Healthy, Positive Sex & Intimacy
Tobias
How do men who struggle with a femdom & findom addiction can change and create a healthy, positive and fulfillfing sex life with real intimacy? - I am Tobias and I want to break the silence about destructive sexual behavior in the realm of femdom and findom. I went through an intense femdom & findom addiction in the last 9 years and successfully came out of it. Now I create helpful content and a safe space to open up for all the men that are negatively affected by femdom and findom. Are you ...
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Sex Addict - plan for lifelong success - not watching for Relapse in the rear view mirror
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10:42Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre You need to applaud yourself on a job well done - to have got this far - at least one year from last Acting out. Now work towards achieving contentment. Life is a balancing act. On the one hand, you need to keep old habits at bay. Yet, on the other hand, you n…
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104 - Marriage Questions Answered with Kylene and Patrick
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1:06:02In today's episode we answer questions ranging from how we met to how we navigate conflict, and how we help each other through tough times. We have included the questions with a link below in case you would like to use them in a conversation with your partner! Questions in today's episode: https://tinyurl.com/9kjca7m9 If you are a betrayed partner …
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Terry Crews Opens Up: Childhood Trauma, Addiction & Healing
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4:48Terry Crews shares his personal journey of overcoming childhood trauma, addiction, and the struggles that shaped his life. From growing up in a strict religious household to discovering unhealthy coping mechanisms at a young age, Terry opens up about the challenges he faced and how they impacted his relationships and self-worth. Terry’s story is on…
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Getting Real About Sex Addiction S4 (21): Fecal missiles, Mother Earth, and God's warm hug
57:32
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57:32Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, a Rowman & Littlefield/Bloomsbury publication, talks psychoanalysis, masculine ego, psychosis and addiction, with Portuguese psychologist Pedro Job, relating these subjects to the film and play, Dr. Strangelove.Por Graeme Daniels
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Sex Addict - Recovery work does not have to be for life, but....
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9:23Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Relapse Prevention tools are for life. Why? Because the neural Pathway that was opened, created and practised for many years, is dominant, but has the potential to be reactivated in an instant. It is easier to reactivate it and it becoming larger than life, fo…
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Terry Crews opens up about the devastating impact of his sex addiction on his wife, his family, and himself. He shares the moment he realized the depth of her pain, the weight of his secrets, and how self-pity fueled his addiction. This is a raw and unfiltered look at accountability, healing, and the difficult road to redemption. #TerryCrews #SexAd…
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103 - Recognizing and Releasing Destructive Patterns for the Addict and Betrayed
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48:03It’s always easier to identify negative patterns in someone else. In today’s episode, Kylene shares four common patterns that can show up in both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner — but in different ways: Qualifying and Comparing Using Absolutes like “Always” and “Never” Looking Outward Instead of Inward Dehumanizing Thoughts or Behavio…
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Terry Crews' Breaking Point: The Moment That Changed His Life
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5:09Terry Crews reflects on the moment he had to face his deepest fears, the consequences of his actions, and the truth about himself. Forced to confront his reality, he opens up about the struggle of maintaining an image, the loneliness of fame, and the hard path to redemption. #TerryCrews #SexAddictionRecovery #Healing #OvercomingAddiction #MentalHea…
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Terry Crews' Raw Confession: Wife Confronts Him
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5:13Terry Crews opens up about his struggles with pornography addiction, infidelity, and the impact it had on his marriage. He shares the moment he was confronted regarding his addiction, the weight of the secrecy, and how this revelation became the turning point in his life. A story of redemption, self-discovery, and the battle to break free—this is T…
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Sometimes you have to just R.U.N for your life - from Sex Addiction
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10:05Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre When all your Recovery Programme tools, skills and resources are not coming to your aid - have failed you - just R.U.N. There are times when all else fails and R.U.N really is the last option available to you in that moment. Don't debate with yourself; don't r…
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102 - Supporting Your Betrayed Partner: 4 Tools That Will Help You Help Her
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22:40In today's episode, Patrick shares four ways a recovering addict can show up for their betrayed partner while demonstrating consistency, sincerity and healing: Make an effort to understand Focus on your own healing Practice your responses Don't seek her external validation We often mention the "Help Her Heal" workbook and encourage you to utilize t…
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"You're such a liar brain": Who, me? Sex Addiction?
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8:47Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre 'Brain, I'm telling you - you don't fight fair. Underhand. Dirty. I'm trying to do this for us. Are you listening to me?' I do a strange thing with everyone of my Sex Addiction clients. Multi-talented as I am, I do brain surgery on each one. (Mine is a bit cru…
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How Do You Build Healthy Relationships With The Raabsmiths
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6:49What does it take to have a healthy relationship?? Honesty, safety, trust, and vulnerability—these are the building blocks of true intimacy. It’s a process, a skill, and sometimes, a complete re-education. #TrustBuilding #HealingTogether #Codependency #HealthyRelationships #SelfAwareness #SexAddiction #BetrayalTrauma #TheRabbsmiths #DanDrake…
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101 - 3 Tools Every Betrayed Partner Can Use Today!
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41:23Erin Stretar (pronounced Streeter) shares three powerful tools she recommends to all her clients navigating betrayal recovery in this week’s RecoverU episode. Discover how journaling, self-soothing techniques, and building a strong support system can empower your healing journey. Erin provides practical tips and real-life applications you can start…
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Partners Blamed for Sex Addiction With Barbara Steffens
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5:35Are we doing enough to educate professionals on betrayal trauma and sex addiction? Many therapists graduate without proper training in these areas, leaving people struggling to find the right support. If you're seeking help, it’s crucial to find a specialist who truly understands your experience—not just someone who checked a box. #MentalHealthMatt…
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Sex Addicts - your brain is not always your best friend
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9:23Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Undistort your Cognitive Distortions. How? What are Cognitive Distortions? Examples might be: 'All guys do it', 'At least I am no longer visiting porn sites', 'I'll only be on here for 5 minutes, no longer', 'What I do, is not as bad as...', 'What an horrendou…
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100 - Using a Polygraph for Recovery - What You Need to Know
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58:20In this episode, Kylene and Patrick walk through how to use a polygraph (lie detector test) as part of recovery, reconciliation and trust building after betrayal and discovery. Some questions they answer are: Why use a polygraph? How to find a polygrapher What to look for in a polygrapher- interview questions to consider Best practices for creating…
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Building True Intimacy book with The Raabsmiths and Dan Drake
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4:45Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith talk about their journey as a couple with sex addiction and betrayal trauma in recovery. Together with Dan Drake they have written the Building True Intimacy workbook which gives couples a clear path towards healing.Por Timzi9
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Do We Truly Understand Betrayal Trauma? With Barbara Steffens
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3:20Mental health awareness has come a long way, but we still need more understanding about trauma, addiction, and healing. Betrayal trauma, in particular, is widely not understood by addicts, therapists and the general public. #MentalHealthMatters #HealingJourney #BetrayalTrauma #BarbaraSteffens #Podcast #Sexaddiction #Addiction…
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Negative Core Beliefs sabotage Sex Addiction Recovery
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10:20Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Negative Core Beliefs are often hidden from view. Often disguised; but masquerade as truths. They live in the unconscious. Not easily touchable. They work away in the hidden place doing their worst. They are uninvited guests. They have over stayed their invita…
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Congratulations to Patrick on 4 years in recovery! I'm so proud of you.In this episode, Kylene briefly shares what it feels like to be hitting the 4 year mark of recovery together, and why the intense and purposeful effort they made has truly been worth it. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support…
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98 - Divorce After Betrayal? You are not alone. How to Navigate it with Strength.
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33:25Divorce feels similar to being widowed. You've lost your partner, you've lost the life and the future you thought you had, and you experience a significant amount of grief. Divorce after betrayal can feel isolating and overwhelming. This is why Kim Hansen Petroni has written her workbook: "Not a Casserole Widow" to provide education and cultivate s…
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Getting Real About Sex Addiction S4 (20): The problem of mandated treatment, or none at all
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30:00In this follow-up to his discussion with AB1775 plaintiff Don Mathews, Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, a Rowman & Littlefield publication, speaks of laws that inhibit proper use of mental treatment, the implications for mandated treatment episodes, plus the problem of people being deterred from proper treatment alto…
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In this episode, we talk about the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships with Dr. Janie Lacy, particularly focusing on how being with a narcissist can create lasting emotional harm. Through relatable insights, we highlight how love bombing, devaluing, and discarding cycles play out in long-term relationships, leaving partners feeling inade…
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In this episode, we break down the dynamics of toxic relationships with Dr. Janie Lacy, helping you identify patterns and behaviors that may dangerous. We explore the emotional roller coaster of push-pull dynamics and unfulfilled needs that keeps people stuck. We also address the underlying feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and loneliness that can …
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Those with Sex Addiction - Cognitive comes before the behaviour
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9:38Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Create new thinking to change the behaviour. How? A step at a time, to re-wire the brain. Create new Neural Pathways progressively over time. What is this thing called Neural Pathways? The hamster wheel patterns of behaviours. Those habits. The programming so …
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97 - Living the Fruit: Why the Fruits of the Spirit are Important During Recovery
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49:03Life can be stressful on its own, but navigating recovery after addiction and betrayal adds layers of tension, overwhelming emotions, and uncertainty. In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick explore how the fruits of the Spirit can serve as a powerful self-reflection tool to guide growth and healing in your recovery journey. By focusing on cultivati…
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Codependency and Sex Addiction: Are They Connected?
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23:00Today, we tackle the compelling question: Is codependency a part of sex addiction? Through a dynamic conversation, we explore if and how codependency manifests in addiction and recovery. We examine the intersection of addiction, control, and the veneer addicts use to manage how others perceive them, shedding light on the deeper dynamics at play. Wh…
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In this episode, we explore the fine line between genuine care for others and the patterns of codependency. Through an insightful discussion, we examine the difference between healthy caregiving and behaviors that lead to self-depletion, resentment, or feelings of martyrdom. Using real-world examples, we highlight how codependency often stems from …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre A poem by Portia Nelson, published in her book There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery Verse I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find…
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96 - Sobriety vs. Recovery, What's the Difference?
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54:58Is there a difference between sobriety and recovery? Is recovery just a longer version of sobriety? In this episode of RecoverU Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on the differences between sobriety and recovery and the type of actions and behaviors it takes to move into a life of recovery, and ultimately freedom, after a life of sex or por…
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In this episode, we talk about the complex world of codependency, exploring its roots, dynamics, and if it is a part of sex addiction. Drawing from expert insights, we unpack the definition of codependency. Through thoughtful discussion, we examine the fear of expressing needs, the denial of self, and the deep-seated desire to manage others’ percep…
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Getting Real About Sex Addiction S4(19): Child abuse reporting law finally gets its court date
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52:43Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, interviews Don Mathews, plaintiff in the forthcoming case against the state of California and a 2015 law originally named Assembly Bill 1775. This case, a decade in the making, is about privacy rights and psychotherapy versus the state's efforts to p…
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A Deep Dive into Recovery and Relationships
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16:13In this special mailbag episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, we tackle a powerful question from a viewer about the addict wanting to be heard and seen in the relationship. Through engaging analogies and thoughtful insights, our experts explore the critical importance of timing in addressing trauma, the challenges addicts f…
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Triggers may be an ally, not a foe - Sex Addiction clients!
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10:11Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Triggers are a clue to our dissociated Traumas - So says Carolyn Spring in Part 2 of her article on Managing Triggers: https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/we-have-two-choices-when-triggered/ The past events that we want to avoid thinking about or confronting, m…
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95 - Choosing Who You Want to be so You Don't Stay Stuck in 2025
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46:44Feeling stuck and not sure how to move forward? In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss choosing who you want to be so you don’t stay stuck in 2025. They provide five practical tips and actionable resources to help you align with your values and vision for the future. Their approach emphasizes digging deeper than surface-level goals, empower…
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We want to speak to you about the delicate balance of addressing needs and rebuilding trust in relationships affected by sex addiction and betrayal trauma. We examine the early stages of recovery, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing the betrayed partner’s healing and grief before delving into deeper relationship dynamics. Through expert insi…
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In this episode, we dive deep into the complex dynamics of healing relationships impacted by sex addiction and betrayal trauma. We discuss why addressing betrayal trauma must take priority before tackling broader relationship issues and how timing is a critical factor in the recovery process for both the addict and the partner. We explore the chall…
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Triggers don't play fair in the Sex Addicts world
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8:00Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Triggers don't play fair. They are often unpredictable (like a music track which comes on) and moves you from chilled to a fight to maintain sobriety. So underhand. Not a nice play partner. Carolyn Spring talks about the aftermaths of Triggers, from the sense …
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Part 2: A Deep Dive Into Trauma: The Good, The Bad and The Sad
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32:48Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty continue their discussion about trauma. How can recovering addicts find the healing that they need when trauma is still unknown? How can you gather the right team to support you in your recovery work? How can you find peace following big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma? They answer these questions and consider the gift …
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Getting Real About Sex Addiction S4 (18): Who's the patient and what's the story?
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45:01Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, published by Rowman & Littlefield, reads an email from a disgruntled impacted partner about responses to Esther Perel's State of Affairs. From this, Daniels discusses the problem of integrating perspectives amid a treatment culture that fosters taking sides.…
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Is Healing Possible After A Betrayal? Featuring Michelle Mays
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7:04Today we speak with Michelle Mays, a leading voice in the field, we unwrap topics like betrayal blindness, relational fear, and the empowering journey of recovery. With compassion and evidence-based approaches, Michelle provides tools and perspectives to help individuals navigate complex emotions, reclaim their reality, and find healing. Whether yo…
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How Does Attachment & Betrayal Correlate With Michelle Mays
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7:25Today we explore the profound connections between attachment, trauma, and healing. Featuring expert insights from thought leaders like Michelle Mays, we dive into topics such as betrayal trauma, attachment systems, and the phases of relational recovery. Michelle Mays brings a wealth of knowledge and compassionate strategies, offering a holistic and…
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Sex Addicts - turning off Fight/Flight/Freeze response - ain't an option
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11:30Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The cave man/cave woman response of Fight/Flight/Freeze, is alive and well. Don't beat your brain up too badly. It is just doing what it was designed to do to protect you. The options it chooses or gravitates to, are at times, rather dubious and for Sex Addict…
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Part 1: A Deep Dive Into Trauma: The Good, The Bad and The Sad
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32:07Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore trauma – what exactly is it, how does it come about, and what can you do about it? They consider the wounded healer, the importance of integrating all lived experiences to become whole again, and the role of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from in…
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Cheating and Infidelity: Signs, Confronting, and Healing in Relationships
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24:32In today’s episode, we dive deep into the complex topic of cheating and infidelity. We explore what it really means to cheat in a relationship—whether it's crossing physical boundaries or keeping significant secrets. We discuss the emotional impact, the signs to watch for, and how partners can handle the discovery of infidelity. This isn't a “how-t…
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Getting Real About Sex Addiction S4 (17): Splits
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36:41Graeme Daniels, lead author of Getting Real About Sex Addiction, discusses factions within the fields of sex addiction/infidelity treatment: the factions that purport to represent acting out or addicted individuals or their impacted partners. A typical scenario explored from two sides illustrates ideological biases and tacit rules.…
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In today's video, we dive into the subtle signs that may indicate someone is being cheated on, even when there’s no hard evidence. If you’ve noticed changes in behavior, communication, or secrecy and suspect something might be wrong in your relationship, this video offers insights into what to look for. From evasive maneuvers, unaccounted-for time,…
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More Neuroscience from some very clever clogs - for Sex Addiction folks
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10:52Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let me not re-invent the wheel in this episode. There are some really clever people who say it better than me (even if rather brain hurtingly academical)! Read this Article: The impact of the digital revolution on human brain and behavior: where do we stand? L…
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94 - Reflection & Projection - A personal exercise for continued growth at the end of the year
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19:48Do you feel discouraged in your recovery journey? We encourage you to take some time to reflect on the past year. Often, when we feel stuck or frustrated, if we compare where we are today to where we were 6 months ago, or a year ago, we have a better perspective of how far we've truly come! the end of the year offers us a natural point to review wh…
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