Ep. 249: U for Understanding

Fare of the Free Child

This week we’re focused on the letter U for understanding in our P.A.U.S.E.werk. Listen as we talk about the language of conscious parenting, the difference between dialogue and discussion, and then some.

Domari and Akilah take us through some of their noticings about how understanding and control impact their relationships, and not just as mothers. Also, be ready for an insightful convo about an Instagram post where Ieishah Clelland (our Season 7 Co-Producer) questioned gentle parenting as a privilege. Akilah cites Dr. Sundiata’s distinction between dialogue and discussion as we question our relationship with understanding, and with discomfort. So much goodness in here! Pull out your pause pad and join us.

Madd Question Askin' Understanding Essay for people committed to Raising Free People

There is a link between Understanding and control, and in our efforts to become more partner-centered parents and caregivers,

we've got to look into that link.

Control is not inherently a negative thing,

but when control is our goal and we don't even realize it,

we can demand things from children

in the name of understanding,

when really what we're after is a sense of control.

Control is comforting.

Control feels like certainty,

yet comfort and certainty aren't always what's needed in a relationship.

Is it a child's job to be controllable?

Is it a child's job to give us a sense of certainty?

How do we impact children when we don't understand something they do?

And how much of our need to understand is tied to our desire to feel

like we're in control and we're sure about what's going on?

When are my efforts to control a child appropriate?

and when are they more about my lack of understanding?

Here’s a resource for working through the questions and feelings you will face as you let yourself ask better questions:

Restorative Justice and Conscious Parenting workshop. Happening Sunday, May 1st. Be ready for interactive exercises and group discussions, where we’ll learn the roots of restorative justice work, the basics of the restorative process, and how this supports your conscious parenting process, harm caused by supremacy culture, and other oppressive systems.

Discomfort is a significant part of understanding

Shout out to Ieishah who put this on the table and made us inquire about our relationship to discomfort. Ieishah reflects on conscious parenting and gentle parenting. Is our capacity for gentle parenting or to treat h

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