Afghanistan: James Malone, Royal Marines - The Only Thing You Have For Company Is Those Experiences and They’re All Horrific.

Land, Sea & Air - Stories from the Armed Forces

James Malone remembers leaving Lympstone, “In every fibre of being, I felt like I could do anything…You just wanna get stuck in.”

His tour was “Something that definitely changed the course of my life. War does that…to everyone who experiences combat…the first major casualty…was sobering…we had fairly regular contact, gunfights, rocket attacks, IED strikes…I was a Point Man, barma-ing, trying to stop people standing on IEDs…first into most situations, whether clearing a compound to set-up for overwatch, or a firefight or…a Shura with Elders, you’re first in there, first through any doorway, you don’t know what’s on the other side...”

James talks about an incident that he has not shared before outside his most trusted circle, “...What was difficult to deal with was I no longer had control…When you’ve got something going on in your head…it’s like being in solitary confinement and the only thing you have for company is those experiences and they’re all horrific…I kind of dealt with it by pulling the pin and being a bit of a social hand grenade…I felt like I was going down in flames. It got to a point where I was contemplating filling my pockets up with stones and walking into the sea.”

“It is hard to talk about…but I think it’s important…There’s going to be someone else…who had a very similar experience…So I need them to know that there are other people out there too and they understand…Afghan definitely corroded that feeling I had of being able to do anything.” Now through working with Afghan veterans as a full-time photographer and film-maker, “I’ve been able to rediscover a little bit of that again.”

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