Manage episode 282541219 series 2802967
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What ‘Rules’ are holding you back?
Just before I start I still have my little favour to ask if you haven’t filled in my very short questionnaire. so I can make sure i’m creating what you really want and need from my content, services and products. If you’d like to help a gal out I would be so grateful if you would take a couple of minutes to fill in a super quick couple of questions for me. The link is in the show notes and in the link in my bio on instagram. That way i’m not making any assumptions and I can help you have the best year yet...whatever it throws at you!
What do you do to look after your own wellbeing?
I’m continuing on my theme of being a bit softer, gentler and kinder to yourself as we ‘softly, softly, catchy monkey’ our way into 2020.
There’s no denying these last 9 months have been weird, bizarre, emotional, scary, sometimes great, sometimes not so much, confusing, a roller coaster, a pressure cooker or WTF IS HAPPENING!
It’s a collective trauma and we need to acknowledge that.
If you haven’t listened to last week's episodes about watching out for the rules we create for yourselves then please go have a listen to that.
The focus of this episode is to help with something I know so many of us are, shall we say...out of practice with.
That’s being kind to ourselves and putting our own wellbeing first.
Something that came through from my ‘what would you like to learn from me’ questionnaire has been that many people really don’t know where to start when it comes to looking after their own wellbeing.
So I thought I'd share a few things to spark some ideas. Things that I feel are important.
Things that I do myself. Things I'm only just starting to experiment with.
If you’ve been following me for any amount of time you’ll know that curiosity is one of my core values so because of that, i’m really open minded to trying new things and making up my own mind.
It’s important to state that these are all things that I do because I've researched whether they are right for me so make sure you’re doing your own research because there’s no one size fits all and I'm not a health professional...so do YOUR homework kids!
If there’s anything you want to hear more about then slide into those DMs on Instagram and let me know, I'll bring on an expert and do a wellbeing series for you.
Running a business and personal development/growth go hand in hand.
So I’ll start with my tried and tested ways to look after my own wellbeing.
If you’ve been with me ANY amount of time you’ll know my go to’s already. I’ve done a few episodes on my routine and I talk about them a lot.
You guessed it. Journaling and meditation.
I need to be clear, when I started using them in my life I was pretty clueless of the whys and the hows.
I was just committed to researching and finding ways to make them work for ME and fit into my life.
There will always be messages and delivery that don’t really resonate with us. Please don’t be put off from trying something because of it.
For example, I don’t love certain fluffy language. There are certain words that send a shiver down my spine. I can’t get into it. So I would look for ones that DID resonate.
For me, that’s when people talk about science, or the brain or rewiring neural networks...that’s my language. So I would go for those in my meditation. So I really resonated with Calm to start with. I’ve upgraded hugely and use Muse now. Definitely on the pricey side but if you’re serious about getting into meditation it’s an amazing tool to help you improve your practice and measure your brain waves while you’re at it. Right up my straza.
I still use it. I also create my own meditations now too drawing on different techniques that I’ve learned through my studies. Visualisation, working to regulate your nervous system, all that fun stuff.
I created the stressed to success meditation that I talk about that is FREE for you to grab and give a go. Link is in my bio on Instagram, on my website franexcell.com and in the show notes too. Can’t miss it.
Same with journaling. It’s finding a style that works for you. I like practical, minimal, where I know I'm following a specific approach that’s been tested. So the journals with loads of colour and pictures and swirly whirly goodness I can love the aesthetic...but I know I won’t use it as a tool.
That’s me, you might be different. Experiment, be curious.
There’s the obvious ones like being outside, getting in nature, bubble baths etc. I’d love to tell you exercise is one of my go tos but it actually isn’t. I’m working on that one not feeling like a chore.
BUT, MOVEMENT is. You can find me, on the daily, either in the kitchen or my office moving my body into weird shapes and flows to music. I mean, it’s kind of dancing and it’s also...not the kind I would do in public! Movement in a way that you enjoy and feels good is always going to be a winner.
Similarly, so is singing. If I feel ‘off’ and get curious about it I can often attribute it to that I haven’t belted out some tunes in a while.
I did a story on Instagram recently. It honestly, NEVER fails to make me feel good.
Breathing! Oh my goodness we SO underestimate the power of our own breath. Meditation is a big part of this but it’s made me incredibly conscious of my own breathing. I’m a naturally quite shallow breather, particularly if i’m in the middle of something or stressed etc.
Even when I'm just sitting working I will consciously take some slow, deep, belly breaths.
I’m a BIG fan of breathwork. The first time I did proper breathwork the emotional release was insane and took me by surprise. You can look up Wim Hof and another of my faves is Samantha Skelley because she’s a lot of fun.
I love a bit of woo….don’t get me wrong. I honestly do. But I also love a little evidence and I don’t love the woo ‘packaging’ but I don’t let it put me off.
I check my ego and say, ‘do I think there could be something to this that could benefit me’ and if I do, I will research and find a teacher who resonates.
For me it’s about tuning into what I feel I need. For example, I've been talking about tiptoeing into 2021. There are days where I'm ready to have real clothes and an actual bra on. There are days where I know my sweatpants and blanket by the fire are what’s going to get my best.
But it’s always a conscious thought and decision.
What’s going to make me feel good today?
Usually, even if i’m in my onesie i’ll still put some makeup on and do my hair...AND in my onesie...usually i’ll spritz my ridiculously expensive penhaligon’s perfume.
For no other reason than it makes me feel really good! Same thing with luxury body oils or moisturisers.
It’s noticing what makes you not feel great, and doing the opposite. Which for most of us, actually doesn’t come so naturally, even though it makes perfect common sense.
Common sense and common action are two very different things!
Now onto the things I've been trying.
I got the full set of Bach flower essences for Christmas and I'm like a kid in a candy store. I’m mixing my own blends and they really make a difference for me. So I'm geeking out on that at the moment.
Essential oils have long been a staple of mine. I use them in my diffuser every single day and I know a fair bit of the basics of what helps with what ailments. But the reason i’ve put them in the things i’m trying rather than my essentials is because i’ve got so much further to go with it. More qualifications here I come!
CBD oil was an addition to my routine in the last 6 months. You need to do your own research on this because I tried one and it did nothing for me and I just couldn’t understand the hype and all the reports of incredible benefits for anxiety etc. But I persevered and found the one that works for me and I am 100% a convert. You need to do your own research on that, like I say, I’m not an expert by any means, it’s just something I've added to my own personal routine that supports my wellbeing. You’re going to have a LOT of fun on google after this episode let me tell you!
Alkalising greens are something I added in to my routine 2 months ago and I honestly feel better for it. I found a brand that I like, I have it every morning while I'm making my earl grey without fail. It’s a powder that you mix into water or juice. Have a google friend!
Cold showers. Oh yes. By the time this goes out I will be on day 14. So it’s still new. BUT, I honestly noticed a difference super quickly.Look up Wim Hof for this one too. I started with just 15 seconds at the end of my shower but I'm already at a minute and I've noticed a real difference to my energy and my mood.
The hubs is going to be trying this one too but he keeps chickening out at the moment.
I’m also learning about sound healing frequencies. I’ve listened to binaural beats and solfeggio music for a very long time but i’m looking into how sound healing works and my solfeggio frequencies tuning forks have just arrived and i’m in love. I know no more about it just yet ha!
There are LOADS more, yoga, reading, qigong, grounding… way too many to go into in one short episode but these are my tried and tested go tos and what i’m doing at the moment.
I was surprised how many people wanted me to talk more about my general well being techniques but I am TOTALLY here for it so please do let me know if you enjoyed this episode and anything you want me to delve a little deeper into and I am happy to deliver...mainly because it’s fun for me, but also because I really want to encourage you to start putting yourself first and if I can help be a bit of a catalyst for that then I am all for it!
When it comes to looking after ourselves I think it’s the more the merrier in terms of ideas BUT being choosy. Pick something that resonates, do your research and give it a go and be conscious of the difference it makes for you.
Now, I don’t want you trying to add all of these things into your routine all at once, or at all(!)...you need to find what works for you and that can involve a little trial and error.
But also, in the spirit of the previous episode on rules, I want you to softly, softly, catchy monkey your way into new routines.
Just start small. Try to keep one small promise to yourself every day and see how even that gives you a HUGE sift in the way you feel about yourself.
You’ll notice that inner critic start to quieten down. You’ll increase in confidence and self belief. Sounds like a bold statement but it’s true. Think about how many times a day you break a promise to yourself and beat yourself up for it.
Now think how it would feel if you managed to keep one small promise every day.
The bottom line is. To perform at your best you need to be able to feel your best, and know what helps you create your best.
Tune in and ask yourself what you would love, and what you need.
Your body won’t lie to you.