The Answer To Trauma

The Conscious Consultant Hour

This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, it’s just Sam and you for the show to discuss a very intimate topic.

Trauma. We've all experienced it in one form or another. Many people believe that seeing a therapist is the only way to heal it.

On this episode, Sam gives you another perspective on how we can come to grips with the trauma in our lives, and what we truly need to heal it.

Join the conversation! You can either email Sam before the show to ask your own questions, or participate live on the Facebook live stream video and be part of the conversation!

Tune in for this enlightening conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.

Segment 1

It’s just Sam on the show this week. Sam briefly recounts his conversation last week with Mike Anthony, titled “Love, Dad” and recommends the Netflix series, Surviving Death, which Mike appeared on. Sam reads a passage from his book Everyday Awakenings, “We All Have Dog Days Every Now and Then.” It’s common to see that when we don’t feel good we try to run away from the bad feeling, rather than try to stay with the emotions and learn what’s going on. Sam mentions a woman he knows who was able to come to terms with her deepest, darkest emotions during a seven-day period of unplugging and understanding. Most people don’t have the luxury of taking so long to reflect, but we should all make more of an effort to get in touch with our feelings. Sam recounts a period in his life, around three/four years ago when he spent weeks trying to escape a nagging feeling. He then decided to let himself feel the feeling for several weeks and participated in a ritual. At this point it became apparent the feelings were grief and loss, stemming from an old relationship that didn’t work out, with a woman he loved dearly. It washed over him and then released. He realized that it’s okay to sit with these feelings for a while, rather than to run away from them. Sam invites listeners this week to see if there are any uncomfortable feelings they’re trying to escape, and if so, to sit with those feelings and examine what they’re all about. Eventually the feeling will reveal itself. After the break Sam will talk about the first key to healing trauma...it may not be what you think!

Segment 2

Coming back from the break, Sam discusses trauma. In order to heal trauma, we need connection and community. First off, community. Trauma tends to involve multiple people, not just the self. The people we experience the trauma with are data points, therefore we need counteracting data points to heal the trauma. Research shows that for every negative data point in our brain and body, there need to be many times more positive data points to counteract. Having a community that gives us proper time and space to express our trauma is so powerful and helps us so much. We need to be selective in who we work with to ensure they are not reinforcing negative data points. Something about having the right people surrounding us is recognized by the cells in our body, nourishing our nervous system. After the break: the second key to healing from trauma.

Segment 3

Sam comes back from break to say that the second key to healing trauma is connection. When we find our healing community and find that someone else is dealing with a similar trauma, it forms a strong connection. It’s validating to know we’re not alone, that other people are experiencing the same issues we are. Connection is also important because we can learn from other peoples’ experiences. The feeling is reciprocal - if we are communicating our trauma with another person, they will feel better knowing they have someone to relate to, which in turn makes us feel heard. The connection to other people can help us not be so caught up in our own challenges, and to create positive experiences that offset the negative ones. In instances like these, our biggest pain can be our biggest gift to others. Sam shares an example of when he felt like he wasn’t good enough. It was eye-opening to know that others feel the same way, and he derived a great deal of healing from forming that connection with other people, sharing his story and letting them know that he has also been there. Patty from Tucson asks what she can do for a family who has a relative in hospice. Sam encourages the family not to run away from the feelings, but to feel them in the moment. The family can find some solace in believing that death is maybe not the end. The experience may be heart-wrenching, but who knows what it may lead to in the future? Think about experiences that happened in your life decades ago. How did they shape what came after? Sam tells Patty to let the family know that she is there for them. She can validate their feelings. After the break Sam will continue the healing trauma conversation.

Segment 4

Healing from trauma is never easy, but it’s something we all deal with. The validation means a lot, especially when the experience someone is going through is difficult. Community is extremely important during the healing process as well. Our communities are not necessarily where we live, but the people from elsewhere who we choose to connect with. Sam personally does not feel that great a sense of community with the people on his floor, or in his neighborhood, but he has a deep relationship with people in the conscious community. He is Jewish, but he does not belong to a synagogue, as another example. If you’re experiencing pain, know that you’re not alone, that there are communities of people out there who you can connect with. If you’re having trouble finding a community, go out and seek to help others in more need with you, such as helping at a soup kitchen or other volunteer opportunities. Helping from the heart is a beautiful, healing experience. This message is for those who are listening to the show now, or for anyone who may discover this episode years from now. There’s a lot of trauma in the world out there today, and a lot of healing to be done, but there are more tools to heal now than there ever have been before. Thanks to everyone for tuning in this week. We’ll be back next week.

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