UM 014: Marriage Trumps Children

Untaming Masculinity

Marriage - the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman).

In this episode of Untaming Masculinity, Dan and Brad discuss a topic that may seem controversial, but shouldn’t be. Your wife should always come before your kids. As fathers, it’s very easy to prioritize your children, but putting your kids before your wife can have a damaging and lasting impact.

When you watched your wife walk down the aisle, you promised at that moment to always provide for her, protect her and give her a good life. Then a few years go by and you look up to competing priorities: a job, personal interests, a mortgage, and very importantly, kids. Many men put their kids first and base their lives around their kids, often at the expense of their wife. That erodes marriage and ultimately erodes fatherhood.

The guys discuss why this approach is not ok and how prioritizing your wife both helps your marriage and helps your kids. Kids deserve to have a family ecosystem where they know their dad loves their mom unconditionally and fiercely.

Show highlights include:

• She was there before them, she’ll be there after them
• Prioritizing kids deprioritizes marriage and in turn, your wife
• No one wants a marriage that’s “friends sleeping together”
• Strong marriages are role models for kids

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