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Relationship Mastery

Del Adey-Jones & Barry Selby

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Tune in each week, as Relationship Coaches, Del Adey-Jones and Barry Selby, come together to share their insights and expertise on various relationship topics. When they say relationships, they mean all relationships, not just romantic relationships. They will cover the dynamics of the relationships you have with your children, your parents, your boss, your co-worker, your siblings, your friends, and, most importantly, the relationship you have with yourselves!Show topics include Love, Commu ...
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Are you in a long-distance relationship? Are you finding it hard to be in a relationship with limited physical contact? As partners navigate physical separation, long-distance relationships test love, trust, and commitment. Communication becomes the foundation, with regular calls and messages bridging the gap. Though challenging, distance can deepe…
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Are you debating whether or not to have children? Are you feeling pressured to have children when your head and heart are saying no? Or do you desperately want a child, but for some reason, it hasn't happened yet? The decision to have a child is deeply personal, involving emotional, financial, and lifestyle considerations. Some choose parenthood fo…
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Are you curious about a traditional husband's role in a marriage or partnership? Do you like the idea of being a #Tradwife, where your husband assumes the role of the primary provider, ensuring financial stability for the family? Rooted in conventional gender roles, he may prioritize discipline, uphold family traditions, and engage in chivalrous ac…
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Are you curious about what the latest hashtag, #tradwife, means? Join Del and Barry as they discuss the definition, pros, and cons of a #tradwife role. Trad wives embrace conventional gender roles, focusing on homemaking, nurturing children, and supporting their husbands as the head of the household. They prioritize family values and modesty and of…
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Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around your partner? Are you afraid to speak your truth for fear of your partner's rage? If so, you may be in a dangerous relationship. A dangerous relationship often shows signs like controlling behavior, isolation from loved ones, and constant criticism. Emotional or physical abuse, threats, and manipulat…
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Are you a people pleaser, always putting others' needs ahead of your own? Do you suffer in silence when your boundaries are being violated? "When enough is enough" marks the point where boundaries are crossed and tolerance runs out. It signifies the moment to stop tolerating harmful behavior, situations, or excess. Recognizing this limit empowers i…
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Do you judge a man as weak because he is not afraid to show his emotions? Do you buy into the belief that a real man should use his physical strength to overpower others? If so, you are misguided. What makes a man a man goes beyond physical traits; it's about character, integrity, and responsibility. A real man is defined by his ability to show str…
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Do you find yourself constantly engaged in a power struggle with the people in your life? Is it more important for you to win and be right in your interactions, as opposed to having a harmonious relationship? This week, Del and Barry discuss the downfalls of engaging in Power Struggles. The need to be in control and overpower others can damage rela…
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Are you grateful for your life and your relationships? Do you reflect on your blessings regardless of the obstacles life throws your way? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the numerous benefits practicing gratitude offers, including improved mental health, increased happiness, reduced stress, and healthier relationships. Gratitude helps us…
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Would you describe yourself as a glass-half-full or half-empty type of person? Would you say you feel more optimistic or pessimistic most of the time? On today's show, Del and Barry discuss the impact of whether we are an optimist or a pessimist and its effects on our relationships. The phrase "glass half full or half empty" reflects how people per…
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Are you a perfectionist? Do you have unrealistci expections for yourself and others? This week, Del and Barry share how the perfection trap is the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, leading to constant dissatisfaction and self-criticism. It creates unrealistic expectations, stifles creativity, and fosters fear of failure. Striving for perfection o…
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Do you live by a rule book of made-up Shoulds? And do you expect others to live by the same shoulds? Shoulds can be harmful because they impose unrealistic expectations, leading to guilt, stress, and self-criticism when we fall short. They often stem from societal pressures or comparisons, stifling our authenticity and creativity. By focusing on "s…
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Do you struggle with saying No? And when you do say No, do you feel bad? This week, Del and Barry discuss how learning to say No is essential for maintaining balance and well-being. It allows you to protect your time, energy, and priorities, preventing burnout and over-commitment. By setting boundaries, you ensure your actions align with your value…
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Many of us who grew up in a dysfunctional environment carry within us an unhealed inner child who is crying out for the love and attention we didn't receive growing up. When our unhealed inner child runs the show, it can cause havoc in all areas of our lives, from our relationships to our work environment. Reparenting our inner child is essential t…
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Do you have someone in your life who struggles with an addiction? When it's a family member, friend, or loved-one, loving a person with an addiction requires immense patience, empathy, and resilience. It involves balancing support with maintaining healthy boundaries to protect your well-being. Understanding addiction as a disease helps in showing c…
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Do you sometimes feel unloved and unappreciated in your relationship? Do you know your partner loves you, but they don't express it in the way you would like them to? Understanding our love language is crucial for building strong, fulfilling relationships. It enables us to communicate our needs and understand our partner's needs more effectively. B…
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Have you been so hurt in a relationship you've wanted to retaliate? If so, it's a perfectly understandable reaction. The saying goes, revenge is sweet, but is it the wisest response? This week, Del and Barry discuss how retaliation perpetuates conflict and negativity, often escalating situations rather than resolving them. It harms relationships, e…
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Are you someone who honors your commitments, or do you wait to see how you feel in the moment to decide if you want to follow through? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss why honoring commitments and agreements is vital for building trust and reliability in relationships. It demonstrates integrity and respect, fostering a sense of security a…
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Do you want to leave your relationship but tell yourself you can't because of the effect it will have on others? Maybe you tell yourself you're staying for the sake of your children, your partner, or your family's expectations. On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the many reasons people tell themselves why they can't leave their relationship…
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Did you have a positive relationship with your father, or was he absent either physically or emotionally? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the importance of the role of a positive father figure in our lives. A father figure is crucial for a child's development, providing emotional support, guidance, and stability. They serve as role model…
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Has your partner ever accused you of projecting onto them? Do you put your partner down because you see things you dislike about yourself in them? Or, maybe you put your partner on a pedestal because you believe they have attributes and talents you don't have? In relationships, we project by attributing our own feelings, fears, or insecurities onto…
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Do you hide out in your relationship? Are you afraid of sharing your authentic self for fear of rejection? Authenticity is crucial in a relationship because it fosters trust, deepens emotional connection, and encourages open communication. Being genuine allows partners to truly understand and support each other, creating a safe environment for vuln…
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Do you find that you can become obsessive in your relationships? Or are you the object of another person's obsession? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the dynamics behind obsessive relationships and the risky behavior that can result. Obsessive relationships are characterized by intense, controlling behavior and an unhealthy focus on one'…
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Are you afraid of conflict? Do you tend to brush things under the rug rather than speak your truth? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss how brushing things under the rug can lead to unresolved issues festering, which creates resentment and mistrust in relationships. When we ignore issues and stifle open communication, minor problems can grow…
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Are you a control freak? Do you believe you have to micromanage all aspects of your life, or everything will fall apart? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the beauty of taking our hands off the wheel and allowing life/god/spirit/ the universe to guide us Going with the flow of life means embracing uncertainty and surrendering to the natura…
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Are you someone who goes with the flow in your relationships, or do you prefer to be in the driver's seat, getting your way in every situation? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss how going with the flow in relationships entails embracing spontaneity, flexibility, and adaptability. It involves relinquishing rigid expectations and allowing th…
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Do you choose your battles wisely, or are you ready to go to war over the tiniest thing? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss how choosing our battles wisely is essential for maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. When we go to battle over everything that annoys us in our relationships, we risk driving a wedge between ourselves an…
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Is your relationship bank account overdrawn? Are you withdrawing more from your relationship than you deposit? In this week's show, Del and Barry share how relationships are like bank accounts, where deposits and withdrawals determine the health of your relationship. Positive interactions and gestures build trust, affection, and intimacy, which enh…
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Do you find you are more critical of your partner than you are of others? If so, you're not alone. On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the many reasons why many of us hold our partners to a higher standard. Unlike our friendships, we're often more critical of our partners due to emotional intimacy and expectations. Close relationships reveal…
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Are you afraid of arguing? Do you think arguing means your relationship is in trouble? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss how arguing can be good for your relationship if done in a healthy way. Healthy arguing involves respectful communication, active listening, and focusing on understanding rather than winning. It includes expressing emoti…
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Do you stay in unhealthy relationships because you are afraid of being alone? Do you have weak boundaries because you fear your partner might leave you if you speak your truth? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the myriad of ways in which we sell ourselves short for fear of being alone. Humans have an innate need for connection and belongi…
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Do you wonder why you react in specific ways, but can't explain why? Are you confused by why your partner doesn't see the world like you? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss why personality tests like the The Enneagram personality test is a powerful tool for couples, offering insights into individuals' core motivations, fears, and behaviors.…
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Do you believe that all men are attracted to younger women? If so, you are mistaken! Although some men are attracted to younger women, there are plenty of men who are looking for someone their own age. They want a woman who brings experience to the relationship. A woman who they can relate to. A woman who knows what she's looking for and isn't afra…
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Are you newly single and finding it hard to meet a man your own age? Are you starting to feel past your prime and beginning to believe the old adage that all men are attracted to younger women? On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss why some men are attracted to younger women. Besides the initial physical attraction, men often tell us there's l…
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Do you feel you lack self-confidence? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and feel you're falling short? Are you exhausted from all the self-improvement work you've been doing without much gain? What if we were to tell you you're looking in the wrong direction when trying to build self-confidence from the outside in? On this week's show…
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Do you abdicate responsibility for the state of your life? Do you tend to blame others when things don't go your way? Or maybe you find apologizing hard when you've made a mistake. When we refuse to accept responsibility, we miss out on one of life's most empowering actions. On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss how taking responsibility for o…
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Do you believe unconditional love means continuing to love someone no matter what? Even when their behavior becomes abusive or causes you harm? If so, you are mistaken. In this week's episode, Del and Barry discuss the difference between Codependency and Unconditional Love. Loving someone unconditionally means that you love them without judgment; i…
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Do you find it hard to maintain healthy boundaries with a loved one engaging in destructive behavior? Do you love someone so much that you fear losing them if you were to hold them to the consequences you've given them? If so, you may inadvertently be enabling them. In this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the differences between love and enablin…
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Do you find yourself overly judgmental of others? Does other people's behavior easily trigger you? Are there certain aspects of your personality that you would rather keep hidden? If so, you may be coming up against your Shadow. In this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the concept of The Shadow, first introduced by psychologist Carl Jung. Jung ex…
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Are you holding onto angry at someone for what they did? Have you ever felt so hurt you've wanted revenge? If so, it's completely natural to want the person who hurt you to feel a similar pain to the one they've inflicted on you. But does an 'Eye for an Eye" bring you the satisfaction you seek? Unfortunately not. As the Buddha says, "Holding on to …
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We've all heard about the Law of Attraction and how creating vision boards, ideal scenes, and setting intentions helps us to manifest our heart's desire. That's all well and good when we get our desired outcome, but what happens when things don't turn out as we hoped? Too often, we blame ourselves. We judge ourselves as bad manifesters. Or, worse s…
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Have you ever been violated, betrayed, lied to, stolen from, or scammed? If so, you'll most likely experience various emotions ranging from anger, shame, powerlessness, fear, distrust, etc. On this week's show, Del and Barry share their experiences of having been violated and how they recovered from the emotional aftermath. It's important to not bl…
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Do you find you always give people second chances only to be hurt or taken advantage of again? Or maybe you are the opposite; once burnt, you slam the door permanently on the relationship. On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss the pros and cons of giving people second chances once they have violated the agreement you made with each other. Not …
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Do you find yourself repeatedly handing over your power to another person, such as your partner, parents, or friends? Do you constantly ask them for their advice, believing they know what is best for you? Or maybe you're in a cult-like situation where your partner or spiritual guide suggests they have powers you lack. If so, please listen to this w…
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Are you a people pleaser? Do you find that you always put other people's needs ahead of yours? Are you tired of ignoring your wants and needs and ready to drop the habit of putting yourself last? On this week's show Del and Barry discuss why some of us abandone ourselves in relationships and instead focus on making those around us happy. Whether it…
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It's that time of year again! As the New Year approaches, many of us are working on our New Year's Resolutions. While the end of the year is a great time to reflect on the previous year and decide what behaviors we'd like to leave in the past and those we'd like to embrace for our future, we need to pay attention to setting unrealistic expectations…
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Just as there's toxic masculinity, there can also be toxic femininity. You may have come across a woman who uses her sexuality to seduce, manipulate, and control others. Or maybe she becomes overly emotional, breaking down in uncontrollable sobs when she doesn't get her way. On this week's show, Del and Barry discuss how some women sell themselves …
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Do you have men in your life who exhibit toxic masculine behavior? Men who suppress their emotions, believing real men don't cry. Or maybe they're the type of man who is misogynistic, domineering, and controlling, who objectifies women and only sees them as sexual objects. Or the man who is homophobia and transphobia due to his insecurity around hi…
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For many people, the holidays are a time of joy and celebration. It's a time to gather together with friends and family and give thanks for all we have. For others, it can be a time of sadness and loneliness. For some reason or another, they may be spending the holidays alone. Maybe a relationship recently ended, or they are away from family and fr…
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It's that time of year again. The Holiday Season is upon us. Are you excited to spend time with family and loved ones? Do you look forward to the celebrations and festivities of the holidays? Or do you dread this time of year and the stress of being forced to spend time with difficult family members? On this week's show, Del and Barry share tips an…
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