Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker explore the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
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The definitive game for every football scoreline
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1:20:31
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline. A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly le…
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Armchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a [Club X]”
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41:07
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to…
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Cliches vs The Football Ramble - The Football Cliches Quiz XV
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The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia. The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK petitions, Watford or Notford, Football things dubbed into various European languages, Sven’s CV, football-adjacent Olympic sports that …
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Liverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard Keys’ 12,476-game TV marathon
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most colours ever bled by a figuratively cut-open footballer, whether Liverpool really are "going under the radar" and doing the maths on R…
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First names on shirts, Footy Scran technicalities & the FPL universe, with Ellis Platten
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1:14:50
The pod welcomes AwayDays Youtube supremo Ellis Platten for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Ellis's selections are football fans with their first names printed on the back of their shirts, random football shirts popping up in unexpected places, the dubious cri…
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An incredible football birthday card, Dutch league-table madness & Mick McCarthy in the jungle
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44:29
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven, Dutch football's rejection of the concept of top and bottom halves of a league table, a completely unwarranted use of "football club" …
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Football's shortest spell, the "in charge" threshold & the first half/second half vibe experiment
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the shortest “spell” ever documented in football, the textbook body language of a player subbed off in the first half, people whose names sound like plausible Carabao Cup fourth-round ties, the best combined-years stat of all time and much…
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Beating the commentators to the punch and the ideal conditions for "nothing doing": The Listeners' fascinations and irritations
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51:17
Adam Hurrey, David Walker, and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the joys of getting ready for five-a-side much earlier than you need to, the smug satisfaction of noticing something before the co…
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Footballing military ranks, Carabao chaos & a phrase only Sean Dyche would use
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44:58
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: amateur league fortresses, Kylian Mbappe ascends to the "If Player X did that" throne, Mark Clattenburg's common-sense overload, some heart-stopping radio commentary from the San Siro, a disgraceful Carabao Cup hat-trick definition, a trul…
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Jamie Carragher's match-ball voice, promotion fodder & three-sided fortresses
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57:39
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a story of Sunday League admin woe, Jamie Carragher's vocal impression of a match ball waiting to be headed home, some typically made-up-sounding US soccer jargon, Callum Hudson-Odoi's goal-trademarking credentials, Referees Names in Things and th…
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Carsley culture, scorelines you'd take before the game & the most left-footed Premier League club
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55:28
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: predicting the cultural impact of Lee Carsley’s England reign, an Arsenal legend's name in the NFL, the acceptable context to use the word "side" for a team, yet more football-chant confusion in the audiobook world, and Richard Keys and Andy Gray'…
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”Welcome to League C", pointless penalty shootouts & the connoisseur's referee whistle
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51:56
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and, on loan from the Career We Go podcast, Bobby Faghihi. On the agenda: the Nations League receives another stamp of approval from the language of football, some time-bending commentary from the Asian zone of World Cup qualifying, David Pleat provides a poetic twist on a Proper Footb…
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Silky Toblerones, Serbian football small talk & telepathic right-backs
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Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the official Football Cliches Sporcle quiz, a beautifully baffling inclusion in a European footballer’s Wikipedia “Style of Play” section, elite-level football small talk in an early-2000s BBC drama series, the rather familiar name of New Zealand's 1…
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Cometh the minute, poetic Andy Townsend and Keysey's quote-tweet masterpiece
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46:24
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Charlie Eccleshare's Talksport tennis cameo, Peter Drury's new goalscoring surname obsession, Eddie Howe on Oasis goes exactly as you'd imagine, some assorted transfer-window curiosities, Andy Townsend speaks in iambic pentameter and some viral refer…
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The Adjudication Panel: The minutes left vs blood pressure ratio
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39:46
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Michael Dawson's entry into the "so-called" pantheon, the latest bit of Romanian football-related small talk on Corrie, the threshold for "we owe them one", and the identity of the default Premier League website player silhouette REVEALED. M…
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The Adjudication Panel: Sparking a stroll, rickets vs howlers, and the Champions League anthem revamp
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Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a welcome variation on a 'bit of both' from Gary Neville, the benefits of being as precise as possible when denoting how far out a goal is scored from, David Raya's sextet of goal-adjacent water bottles, and the weirdest 'for my sins' on a f…
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Players spotting themselves on the big screen & ironic referee cheering: The listeners' loves & hates
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the anxiety-inducing moment that the score disappears from the screen during a TV game, European superclubs who have other s…
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