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Welcome to This Side of the Grass! On this podcast, host Val Amsden seeks to normalize conversations about death and dying, so that we can be prepared for the inevitable: at some point, we will all die. Val will share personal stories and experiences about loss in her life, and will also interview subject matter experts on the complicated, and oftentimes expensive and morbid parts of preparation. “The loss of my mom when I was a young mother, and then the unexpected and tragic death of my br ...
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Re/Collecting Chapel Hill

Chapel Hill Public Library

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Join Chapel Hill Public Library staff and community members as we uncover the untold histories of Chapel Hill. We seek to reckon with our past to figure out where we came from and why it matters for our shared future. Season one of Re/Collecting Chapel Hill was supported by grant funds from the Institute of Museum and Library Services under the provisions of the federal Library Services and Technology Act as administered by the State Library of North Carolina, a division of the Department of ...
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Attorney Steve Messick is back! As promised on his first high-level show about all things legal when it comes to dying, Steve and I take a deeper dive on legacy planning through Trusts. One of the big take-aways: you don’t have to have millions of dollars for a Trust to be a valuable planning tool! If you haven’t yet listened to Steve’s first show,…
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On today’s episode, I am joined by 4th generation owner of White Funeral Homes, Mike White. Mike’s family has been serving the Twin Cities community in Minnesota for more than 125 years, and currently own and operate 5 funeral homes in the South Metro area of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Mike has an amazing vantage point of life, loss and what it is l…
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I called an audible today! No notes or outline, but today’s show is a rich and entertaining conversation with Sam Devine. Sam is the “Devine” part of DevineFox Productions, the company that produces “This Side of the Grass”. He also has his own podcast called “Legacy Matters”, and today’s episode is a blend of his show and mine, as we just talk. Ou…
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Isn’t it kind of crazy to think that there are days that completely change the course of your life… and when you wake up on those days, oftentimes you don’t even know it’s about to happen. It’s only when you look back that you realize your entire life changed on that day. On today’s solo episode, I take a little pivot. Instead of sharing a specific…
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On today’s episode of This Side of the Grass, I am so happy to have Katie Novak, Registered Nurse, share her expertise on healthcare documentation. She is here to provide clarity on decisions and forms that often are needed at end of life, including Health Care Directives and the POLST. A “Health Care Directive”, prepared by an attorney, is a legal…
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On today’s episode, I share with you my vulnerable conversation with long-time friend of the Amsden family, Mike Zinda. Mike is the first guest who reached out to me after listening to several episodes last season, and asked if he could come on to share his story. After talking with him several times about the unexpected loss of his dad, it became …
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What a unique and beautiful privilege it is to share with you today’s conversation! My grandmother, Dorothy Waska, turned 98 in May of 2024. We recorded this conversation in her apartment about 6 weeks before her birthday. Her transparency and ease of sharing her thoughts on dying and loss really helped to shape how I approach this podcast, and I a…
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Here we go again! As we start Season 2 together, I revisit “My Why” – which is how we started Season 1. If you haven’t listened to that episode, or if it’s been a while, here it is: This Side of the Grass, Episode 1 "My Why" On today’s “My Why” for Season 2, I share with you a bit more about my grandma, and how her views on dying and preparation ha…
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We have reached the end of Season 1! Throughout the last 13 episodes, I have found my voice and the tone of this podcast in real time. Thank you for going on this adventure with me! As I shared my story, I have been humbled and proud to have helped others to share theirs, and look forward to taking some intentional time to reset, regroup and catch …
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This week’s episode falls near several important milestone dates related to the loss of my mom: Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and the anniversary of her passing on June 4. As milestones and anniversaries loom year after year, it sometimes feels like no time at all has passed – even years or decades after we have lost a loved one! After participating …
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Long-time friend Eric Froistad joins me on today’s episode. We share a birthday, a best friend (my husband!) and the heart-breaking burden of losing brothers unexpectedly much too soon. Because we, along with our other siblings, gave the eulogies at our brothers’ services, we have an additional connection that I wanted to explore. Eulogies include …
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I’ve teed up this topic in several previous episodes: the legal side of things! I am thrilled to have this important and specific conversation with attorney and long-time friend, Steve Messick, founder and lead attorney of Messick Law, PLLC. He is a top-rated attorney serving clients throughout the State of Minnesota. His primary areas of practice …
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My guest on today’s episode is Brian Muller: a dad, musician and fellow resident of the Twin Cities. Professionally, he has been in the financial services industry for over 25 years, and recently started his own firm and podcast. He grew up near my husband’s family, so Brian and I have been mutual friends for years! I watched via social media as he…
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On today’s episode, we are talking about obituaries! At first, this may not seem exciting – but really, what an incredible opportunity an obituary is to showcase and highlight the life of someone that has passed away. In many cases, this is the last written account of someone’s life! I talk through not only what an obituary is, but also the followi…
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What happens to our social media presence when we die? And what can we do about it now? I talk through the options available on three of the biggest platforms: Facebook, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter). Deciding now what you want done with your online footprint is incredibly helpful to the loved ones that are left behind when you are gone! The a…
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I met today’s guest, Sheri Erickson, through a mutual friend because we both had stories in our families of tragedy and loss. We struck up a quick friendship, and it amazed me how beautifully she viewed the passing from this life to what is next – and I knew I needed her on the podcast. Listen in on our conversation as Sheri’s shares stories of los…
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This episode was recorded just a few days after a deadly shooting near my house that made national news. Two officers and a firefighter were killed when responding to a domestic disturbance call a little over a block away. This incident was unsettling on so many levels, and I was confused as to why it so strongly affected not only me, but my family…
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Listen in on my very first interview with two subject matter experts, Bethany Winters and Tim Vossen, who work in commercial insurance. Using their hearts – Bethany’s story is powerful – and combined 34 years of professional experience, they take us through the nuts and bolts of life insurance: What is it? Why do you need it? If you already have it…
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Why do we think we are invincible to the inevitable: that we will someday die? Whether you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, or ANY other age – you are giving a gift to your loved ones by thinking through and planning for what happens when you die. Action items for this episode, that you should do NOW (no matter your age!): Sit down with your closest love…
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Comparison is a natural thing, both in life and in loss! On this episode, I share two “a ha!” moments during grief therapy:: 1. I was comparing, unintentionally, my grief and loss experience to others – even down to the details of funeral choices. 2. “Jealousy” is a very real feeling that is associated with grief, as shown in an image that was shar…
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Why in American society do we expect those that are grieving to throw the equivalent of a wedding, in just a few days? That’s pretty much what a funeral is: a service and possibly a meal – with music, flowers, programs, and oftentimes a photo slideshow or displays – for several hundred people… all planned in a matter of days! Ridiculous, isn’t it? …
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Who wants to talk about death and dying, anyway? Well, me. In this episode, I share my personal story and the reason behind why I started this podcast. Both my mom and brother died too young, in two very different ways: my mom to cancer after a four-plus year battle when she was 57, and my brother to a heart condition unexpectedly and suddenly when…
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The James Cates Scholars is a youth-led, elder informed program dedicated to centering, exploring and sharing marginalized Black history in Chapel Hill. The Scholars range in age from middle school, high school, college and beyond. Find out more and support the program at Bridging the Gap with Danita Mason-Hogans.…
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CJ Suitt (he/him/they/them) is a performance poet, arts educator, and community organizer from Chapel Hill, N.C., whose work is rooted in storytelling and social justice. CJ most recently was appointed as the first Poet Laureate of Chapel Hill. He is committed to speaking truth to power and aims to be a bridge for communities who can’t always see t…
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Join Chapel Hill Public Library staff and community members as we uncover the untold histories of Chapel Hill, from the inside out and bottom up. In this episode we dive into Chapel Hill's musical history, starting with one of its most beloved artists, Elizabeth Cotten. We search for signs of Chapel Hill in Cotten's music and learn about life for a…
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Part 2, in our 3-part Silent Sam series. In this episode, we share the story of James Cates. James was born and raised in Chapel Hill. In 1970, when he was just 22-years-old, he was murderd on UNC campus. Journalist Mike Ogle has spent years researching the life and death of James Cates. We'll share his work and hear from community members who knew…
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What was the meaning of the American Civil War? And why are we still arguing over this some 150 years later? In this, the first of our 3-part series on Silent Sam, we explore the purpose of confederate monuments and their impact on the African American community in Chapel Hill. From the work of United Daughters of the Confederacy in the early 1900s…
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Public memorials are embedded in our landscape. In this episode we learn the history behind two public memorial benches that bookend the Bolin Creek Trail in Chapel Hill. Learn how two men devoted their lives to making our public spaces more open and accessbile for all of us...and how one man tried to stop such work from ever happening. This episod…
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We explore the ways that cemeteries act as memorials and markers. How do Chapel Hill’s cemeteries help us remember the people who came before us? How have they obscured the past? Join us and our special tour guide, local historian Ernest Dollar, as we walk through four Chapel Hill burial sites. In this episode, you also meet associate producer, Man…
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Join Chapel Hill Public Library staff and community members as we uncover the untold histories of Chapel Hill, from the inside out and bottom up. In our first season, we are exploring the histories behind the monuments and markers of Chapel Hill. In June, 2019 we honored the lives of two Chapel Hillians whose names were added to the Peace and Justi…
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Join Chapel Hill Public Library staff and community members as we uncover the untold histories of Chapel Hill, from the inside out and bottom up. In our first season, we are exploring the histories behind the monuments and markers of Chapel Hill. Our first stop: Peace and Justice Plaza. "The Peace and Justice Plaza honors the energy and spirit of t…
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For the past year, Chapel HIll Public Library has been taking a deep dive into local history, uncovering untold stories and telling them from “the bottom up and the inside out.” These stories are the basis of the Library’s new podcast, Re/Collecting Chapel Hill. The first season of Re/Collecting Chapel Hill focuses on the community’s history and co…
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Kirstie Jones is the head agent at Icon Actors Management. In our final interview of the series Kirstie offers fresh, interesting fantastic advice to Actors in the industry straight from the viewpoint of the Agent. A fantastic informative listen no matter what stage of your career your in. The last of our current series, thanks for all the support …
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In the second Eposide of the new series, we sit down with Evelyn Roberts.Evelyn Is a Actor, writer, producer and director who is currently appearing as Tybalt in Hope Mill Theatre's all female production of Romeo and Juliet as well as co producing the show. Another ex ALRA grad who has gone on to prosper in the industry she talks about the importan…
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