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A history podcast for the morbidly curious. From serial killers to ghosts, ancient remains to obscure medical conditions, let us satisfy your curiosity. (Some episodes may not be appropriate for children. Listener discretion is advised.)
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The Novelizers

Stephen Levinson, @2024 Novelizers, LLC

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Classic films, novelized by TV comedy writers, & narrated by your favorite celebrities. This season, we're novelizing The Matrix, narrated by Rob Delaney, Matthew Mercer, Dan Savage, John Hodgman, June Diane Raphael, Scott Ackerman, Ophira Eisenberg, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and more! Plus interviews with the people who may or may not have worked on the original film! Check out our last two seasons: Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan, and Independence Day. © 2023-2024 N ...
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In the beginning of 1692, young women in Salem village began experiencing strange symptoms, which were soon blamed on witchcraft. The girls accused three women of bewitching them, but instead of resolving the case, the matter only escalated. More young women were afflicted and more townsfolk were accused, and 19 people were eventually executed. In …
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Our Dirty Dancing novelization is just around the corner, but to tide you over is a special bonus episode, novelized by Dennis DiClaudio and narrated by Hallie Haas. More from Hallie: https://halliehaas.com/ sourdoughfilm.com instagram.com/halliehaas twitter.com/halliekhaas tiktok.com/@halliehaas beacons.ai/dennisdiclaudio…
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In this special spooky season episode, Hallie interviews Ryan Matthew Cohn (Oddities) and Regina Marie Rossi (Oddities Flea Market) about their upcoming book The Witch's Door. They talk exploded skulls, provenance, ethical collecting and more! The book is part personal history and part examination of specific objects from their massive oddity and c…
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MCP host Hallie sites down with John and Rob Donkin, also known as Bad Viking Games, to discuss thier cozy mystery game Strange Horticulture. You are the owner of horticultural shop in the bleak town of Undermere. Many of the plants you stock can heal or harm. When murder strikes, you are dragged into a web of intreague involving witches, cults, an…
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The Matrix, Chapter 21 Featuring a chapter novelized by ⁠Alex Rubens⁠ and narrated by Richard Ayoade, plus an interview with ⁠Brian Shortall⁠. Richard Ayoade is a comedian, actor, writer and director who stared in The IT Crowd, Krapopolis, Disenchantment, and more. Four-time Emmy Award nominee Alex Rubens is the showrunner of Krapopolis. He has wri…
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CW: Detailed descriptions of execution methods and corpse desecration Before 1868, executions in England were held in designated public spaces. One of these was famous due to its long history as a place of death and for the large number of criminals that could be executed at once. That place was Tyburn and its infamous execution apparatus was known…
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The Matrix, Chapter 20 Featuring a chapter novelized by Allison Silverman and narrated by ⁠Jackie Kashian, plus an interview with Jeremy Culhane. Allison Silverman is a writer and producer known for Russian Doll, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Daily Show, and more. Jackie Kashian is a stand-up comedian who has been se…
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The Matrix, Chapter 19 Featuring a chapter novelized by Daniel Kibblesmith⁠ (Colbert, Clone High), and narrated by June Diane Raphael⁠ (How Did This Get Made!) plus an interview with ⁠Suzi Barrett⁠. Andy Bobrow has written for Community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Bless the Harts, The Last Man on Earth, Malcolm in the Middle, SNL, and Krapopolis. Lane Moo…
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The Matrix, Chapter 18 Featuring a chapter novelized by Andy Bobrow, and narrated by Lane Moore plus an interview with Alyssa Sabo. Andy Bobrow has written for Community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Bless the Harts, The Last Man on Earth, Malcolm in the Middle, SNL, and Krapopolis. Lane Moore is a stand-up comedian who is the creator and host of Tinder Liv…
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done she gave her father 41." Or did she? In this epic remaster of the MCP's very first episode, we go over the details of the murder case against Lizzie Borden, and discuss what might have happened in Fall River on Aug 4th, 1892. The original epiosde was released o…
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The Matrix, Chapter 17 Featuring a chapter novelized by R.J. White (McSweeney's), and narrated by Truth Ali plus an interview with Ali Ghandour. R.J. White is a comedy writer who has written for McSweeney's. Truth Ali is a hip-hop artist and voice actor who has toured with Rakim. His sixth album "While You Slept" is available now. Ali Ghandour is t…
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The Matrix, Chapter 16 Featuring a chapter novelized by ⁠Josh Comers, and narrated by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog plus an interview with ⁠Ronnie Adrian⁠. Josh Comers is a comedian who has written for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Conan, and Comedy Central. Robert Smigel is the co-creator of Leo, and a writer/performer for Conan, SNL, and Hot…
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The Matrix, Chapter 15 Featuring a chapter novelized by Sunita Haberlein, and narrated by Scott Aukerman (Comedy Bang Bang) plus an interview with Michael Hartney (UCB). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to novelize. Then we give those scenes to a…
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The Matrix, Chapter 14 Featuring a chapter novelized by Mark Steinbach (SNL), and narrated by stand-up comedian Ophira Eisenberg (Parenting is a Joke) plus an interview with Tyler Benedict (iO Chicago). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to noveliz…
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The Matrix, Chapter 13 Featuring a chapter novelized by Joel Levinson (2776), and narrated by Baby Wants Candy performers Al Samuels, Jiavani Linayao, Ross Bryant, and Ahsohn Williams plus an interview with Hallie Haas (UCB). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colber…
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The Matrix, Chapter 12 Featuring a chapter novelized by Rachel Axler (Veep, New Girl, The Daily Show) and narrated by Alison Pill (Star Trek: Picard, Scott Pilgrim, Hello Tomorrow!) plus an interview with James Mannion (UCB, Comedy Bang Bang). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, Th…
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The Matrix, Chapter 11 Featuring a chapter novelized by Novelizers co-producer Suchetas Bokil (The Harvard Lampoon) and narrated by Andrew Ti (Yo, Is This Racist?) plus an interview with Jamie Denbo⁠ (Spy, F is for Family). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert,…
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The Matrix, Chapter 10 Featuring a chapter novelized by Steve Agee (Peacemaker, Suicide Squad, New Girl) and narrated by David Dastmalchian (Late Night with the Devil) plus an interview with Carl Tart (Grand Crew, Mad TV). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, …
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Special bonus episode for comedy/movie/podcast/Matrix-interested people. It's Part 2 of our crossover with our friends at The Flophouse Podcast - who have taken a deep dive into the third Matrix film - just for you! The Flophouse Podcast is available HERE and also wherever you get your podcasts. We'll be back on Monday, with an all new chapter of T…
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A special Flophouse Podcast crossover with our friends Dan McCoy, Elliot Kalan, plus John Hodgman. Check out The Flophouse Podcast and stay tuned for a special Matrix Revolutions edition of the Flophouse in our feed later this week. Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons,…
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CW: animal experimentation, mental illness, suicide, non-consensual surgical procedures, malpractice and abuse in mental health facilities. One of the most infamous procedures from the era of psychosurgery is the Lobotomy. From the beginning there was criticism that lobotomy was too unpredictable and invasive to treat mental illness. Despite this, …
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The Matrix — Chapter 8Brennan Lee Mulligan⁠ (Dimension 20, CollegeHumor) narrates a scene from The Matrix novelized by Ross Pal plus an improv interview with Izzy Roland (Dimension 20, The Sex Lives of College Girls) Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and mo…
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The Matrix — Chapter 7Dan Savage⁠ (Savage Love) narrates a scene from The Matrix novelized by Chris Karwowski ⁠(The Onion, Show & Sell Podcast) plus an improv interview with Vanessa 5000 aka Courtney Pauroso.Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to no…
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The Matrix — Chapter 6 Scott Adsit (30 Rock) narrates a scene from The Matrix novelized by Laura Krafft (The Colbert Report) plus an improv interview with Ian Brennan (Glee). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to novelize. Then we give those scenes…
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The Matrix — Chapter 5 A very special, very sleepy crossover episode with Drew Ackerman and the Sleep With Me podcast, the world's premiere podcast for falling asleep. Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, then get top TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to novelize it, and have a comedian or actor narrate.…
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The Matrix — Chapter 4 Tom Scharpling (The Best Show with Tom Scharpling) narrates a scene from The Matrix novelized by Kelsy Abbott (Uncle Grandpa) plus an improv interview with Ryan Barton (Upright Citizens Brigade). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and …
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Matt Mercer (Critical Role) narrates a scene from The Matrix novelized by Josh Lieb (The Daily Show, What We Do In the Shadows) plus improv legend Will Hines. Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to novelize. Then we give those scenes to a comedian o…
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The Matrix - Chapter 2 David Javerbaum (The Tweet of God, An Act of God, The Daily Show) novelizes and narrates a scene from The Matrix, plus Laura Krafft (The Colbert Report, The Crazy Ones). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to novelize. Then we…
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The Matrix - Chapter 1 Rob Delaney (Catastrophe) narrates a scene from The Matrix novelized by Chase Mitchell (The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon) plus Seth Morris (Big Mouth, College Town Podcast). Each season on The Novelizers, we take a beloved film, give each scene to a TV comedy writer (from SNL, The Simpsons, Colbert, and more) to noveliz…
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