I've been rambling on for years on my blog, and now I thought I'd start rambling on via a podcast as well. I'm eclectic; very sweary; frequently livid; perpetually confused. Topics I'm likely to cover will include gin, parenting, gin, why Original Source mint and tea tree shower gel is a fucking liability, gin, general musings on life, and a bit more gin. I believe kindness is everything, and that we should all try generally to be a little bit less of a dick.
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unedited. one hour. what can i say, i just need to talk. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/i-need-to-talk/support
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This is my story; this is real, and this is me. I’m a 22 year old trans girl with a complicated past and an even complicated present. Stay tuned because I need to talk to you...
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It’s just two long time friends talking about today’s issues. From dating to Politics, nothing is safe from Gurl talk... Cover art photo provided by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/@sharonmccutcheon
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Send us a text In which THERE HAS BEEN A STORM; we discuss pig penises; I break a bath, and have a series of encounters with dodgy men brandishing their tools; and we introduce the concept of Naked Painting.
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Send us a text In which I walk a marathon (did I mention I walked a marathon?!), and talk about it A LOT; Mr IKINTST defies medical science; we rue the demise of flashers; I share one of my many embarrassing drama school memories; and Mr IKINTST is thwarted by a space hopper.
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Is that a sink plunger in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
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Send us a text In which Mr IKINTST and I join forces to BRING BACK THE PODCAST. We discuss cats with fetishes, horny tortoises, and quite what Mr IKINTST was up when I found him standing at the end of my bed brandishing a sink plunger one night.......Por Kathryn Wallace
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Send us a text In which, after an 18 month absence, the podcast comes back!!! We discuss the ever-chaotic state of my desk; the arrival of Toast (the kitten, not the baked goods); my views about cats on beds; Beth's early morning surprise; Jamie turning sixteen; GCSE revision (bring back fronted adverbials, all is forgiven!); the perils of building…
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Send us a text In which it's apparently very hot; I am the world's worst podcaster; I share one of Mr IKINTST's most excellent comedy moments; Jamie makes a startling prediction; we receive surprising news; I try and fail completely to cope emotionally with the end of Beth's primary school journey; Beth smashes Sports Day; and I have an awful lot o…
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Send us a text In which I remember Nana; I share some very exciting breaking news, which will excite precisely no one other than me; I hit new levels of incompetence; there's a Tiger Balm-related warning; death is sh*t, and dementia even more so; Beth finds a Northern Bath; and I share some of my favourite memories of Nana with you all.…
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Send us a text In which I gear up for a bonkers week; I have the Night From Hell; my cats are absolute dicks; we discuss the utter pointlessness of SATS; Beth plays her last game of the season; my kids develop a weird obsession; I reveal one of my greatest weaknesses, and one of my biggest fears; I give my top hayfever tip; and Beth shaves a cucumb…
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Send us a text In which I update you all on my writing plans; I explain why you didn't get a podcast last week; Beth has a difficult day; I contemplate taking on an Easter egg challenge; Jamie has a big week; we have a family reunion; I reminisce on the madness of life growing up in a small village; and the big mice invade!…
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Don't try and tell me this isn't where the glamour is!
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Send us a text In which I am deeply unglamorous; I have my first AirBNB experience, and make a total tw*t out of myself in public; the cats are d*cks; we reminisce on school trips of old, including my first ever visit to the Royal Albert Hall; Jamie makes an unreasonable request; and my teenage self is absolutely batsh*t.…
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Send us a text In which the podcast comes BACK; we have a very exciting Friday night out; I prove my old age credentials; my cat is a twat; I have a near death experience; my children are heroes; I celebrate my wedding anniversary and reminisce over the abject chaos of my wedding day; and Beth plays in the cup final.…
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Send us a text In which it is very windy; my love sausage comes out a treat; I discover something even more disturbing than a love sausage; Jamie reviews his sister's football prowess; there is a disappointing lack of sharknados; we have an unwelcome return to home learning; I have a deep-seated distrust of planes; and my children are rather too en…
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Send us a text In which I go out to buy a love sausage; I do some Proper Adulting; Beth gives me a very proud parenting moment; we celebrate the little things; I tell the truth about just what I found when clearing out my loft; my children do Bad Art; I live in hope that I might have come back into fashion; we award the Dick Cat of the Week Award; …
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Send us a text In which I successfully complete Dry January; Beth plays in the cup semi-final; I excel at Embarrassing Parenting; we celebrate UP THE BORO!; Brexit is a klutz, and I worry about cats being stereotyped; my dad finds vacuuming his car more confusing than he'd hoped; I try to work out how we make these podcasts more accessible; Jamie's…
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Send us a text In which I return from a podcast hiatus; I stagger to the end of Dry January; I explain all the reasons you should steer well clear of the Mother Of All Thunder; my house smells bad; I review Spiderman: No Way Home; I lose the London Eye; Beth wins a bet; and I take my really accessible cervix off for a smear test.…
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Send us a text In which we all make it through the first week in January; I tackle Dry January; Jamie is bemused by testing, and Blazer-Gate ensues; the kids and I have an emotional Saturday night; I go viral (in the non-Covid sense); we talk about the perils of parental gaslighting; Beth meets Jamie's girlfriend; I take on a building project; and …
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Send us a text In which New Year's Eve goes on a bit bloody long; my cats are (festive) dicks; my kids are amazing; there's controversy on the Christmas dinner front; I tell you about the kitchen gadget you never even knew you needed; Jamie shows his dark side; Beth gets VERY confused; and you guys make my absolute year.…
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Send us a text It's the festive edition of the podcast: in which I share some of my favourite Christmas memories and traditions; life is discombobulating; my cats are (festive) dicks; Blue Peter takes a questionable approach to Health and Safety; we discuss how other people's Christmas traditions are always wrong; I hate wrapping bastard presents S…
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"Would you like to see my episiotomy scar?"
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Send us a text In which I declare it to be Officially Christmas; Mr IKINTST and I attempt to write a Christmas song, and have a difference of opinion over Christmas decorations; I find myself ill-equipped to cope with the emotional rollercoaster of Christmas films; we discuss the differences of going out for the evening, pre and post children; Beth…
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Send us a text In which my vagina is indeed cold and frosted (it's ****ing FREEZING!); we have a heated debate about the correct point in the year to put up Christmas decorations; I share with you my theatrical recommendation of the year; my mum performs an early Christmas miracle for me; Jamie lusts after a Bushtucker Trial; Beth picks up a footba…
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Send us a text In which we discuss the soul destroying adulting task that is "life admin"; I confess to my secret fetish; my cats are dicks, again; I tell you all about my Exciting Day Out and tick off a major item on my bucket list; yet another one of my household appliances is an utter cock; I share my self-composed joke that made Jamie weep tear…
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Send us a text In which I record a podcast in the midst of abject chaos; I debate a creative addition to my Christmas cake; Fanny Craddock scares me; I introduce you all to Barry; there's perhaps the most original hair-care tip you'll hear this year; and I share with you all some glimpses into the madness that is a typical day in our life, includin…
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Send us a text In which I live out an all time dream, and sing at the Royal Albert Hall; I have one of the maddest weeks ever; my hair appointment ends in dramatic style; there is a reason that I never became a mechanic; Jamie's feet confuse him; people are bloody amazing; and both Beth and Sandwich make unexpected podcast cameo experiences, and I'…
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Send us a text In which I get unfeasibly irritated by pumpkins; we talk about not setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves; teenagers are brilliant (unless that teenager is me); we have a somewhat dramatic trip to the vet; teenage me leaves home (teenage me is also an utter dick); my oven cleaning goes not entirely to plan; WE GO TO THE DENTI…
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Send us a text In which my 40th birthday celebrations finally happen; Beth and her teams play some bloody brilliant football; I am the Embarrassing Proud Parent; we give grateful praise to the brilliant grassroots sports volunteers out there; I prove all of the reasons why I probably won't become a football announcer any time soon; we remind oursel…
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Send us a text In which I record the last podcast of my 30s; I almost make a total tit out of myself at work; Covid is a dick; we celebrate the brilliance of teenagers; Beth's birthday cake nearly breaks me; and I relive some of my personal highlights of the last decade, including poo, shouting, confusing furniture, Dr Google, football football foo…
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"This isn't the mouse you're looking for"
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Send us a text In which I get absolutely bloody soaked; we discuss the hell of a hungover Saturday morning, poolside; Beth encounters gravity; we discuss the awful murder of Sarah Everard and the changes in our society that we need to see; Jamie gets Covid, just in time for Birthday Month *facepalm*; I make a terrible confession; I reminisce over T…
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Send us a text In which I share the truths I wish I'd known before I became a parent; my Ocado delivery goes rogue; everyone loses their shit over petrol; Google Maps and I fall out; I have to learn to let go, and am SO BAD at it; I hit peak parenting madness; I come up with a revolutionary new design for the human body; nappy changing is confusing…
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Send us a text In which I share some of my most mortifying moments over the years; I get to live out an all time dream; I have an Irritating Week, and you are all bloody brilliant; I am thoroughly wound up by "fidgets"; weeing in a cup proves to be extremely difficult; Jamie performs a character assassination; I learn that pride very much comes bef…
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Send us a text In which I go Out Out; my neighbours are batshit; I explain whyTop Gear probably won't be calling me up any time soon; we stay in perhaps the craziest AirBNB of all; I fail utterly to pack light; my children go feral; Jamie's PE kit is a public health hazard; and Beth gives me some painfully honest feedback.…
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It's hard to record a podcast with an anus in your face
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Send us a text In which I thank you all for being so bloody brilliant; I am That Mum; we appreciate the golden moments; Jamie lives his best life; we play Aggressively Competitive Car Games; I recall the Car Journey From Hell; Jamie is geographically challenged; and I tell you all about my cervix.
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Send us a text In which this podcast celebrates its one year anniversary, and I say a massive thank you to all of you for supporting it; I remember just how much I hate running; Jamie gets his head around the miracle of childbirth; I GO TO THE PROMS!; I explain why you should never, ever take Beth to the theatre; and we take a trip down podcast mem…
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Send us a text In which I take a trip back down memory lane to life as a teenage girl in the 1990s; I feel better and WELL, and ALIVE!!!; the children have sleepovers; we discuss the reasons why the phrase "sleep when your baby sleeps" is absolute BULLSHIT; bath pearls are weird; I manage to refer repeatedly to a "puffa jacket" as a "puffa coat", w…
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Send us a text In which I get poorly sick; we are lucky enough to go away on holiday; Jamie reaches new levels of ineptness; I lobby for crazy golf to become an Olympic sport; there's a reason I've never become a book publicist; my children's lack of fussy eating backfires on me; we should all try to be more kind; and my cats are, as usual, utter d…
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Send us a text In which they finally turn down the sun; I participate in the competitive sport of Dishwasher Reemptying; teachers are amazing; Beth is scathing about my Olympics prospects; I have the least relaxing Zoom call ever; I introduce The Willy Blanket; we share reading recommendations; holidays with small children are NOT a holiday; and we…
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Send us a text In which I reveal the outcome of my Ocado debacle; Beth is vaguely mortifying; football doesn't come home... but it kind of does; Jamie almost gives me heart failure; I out-gross The Maggot Story; Jamie is an utter hero, and I might actually be The Hulk; Jamie gets a makeover; we take a trip down memory lane; I have perhaps the most …
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Send us a text In which I apologise for absence; we face the least fun family Saturday night activity ever; ASAP is a dick; I am obstreperous, and get into trouble with my mum; I relive memories of Euro 96; Jamie is an absolute hero, and I am once again an Embarrassing Parent; a trip Out Out takes its toll; and football comes home.…
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Helicopter parenting and middle class tantrums
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Send us a text In which my kitchen appliances are dicks, as are my cats; I max out on helicopter parenting; Jamie achieves a teenage dream; the podcast hits the Apple Top 10; I get very angry with the Government; football is coming home (surely?!), and I discover I am still not over Euro 96; Jamie and I fail to cope with click and collect even slig…
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Send us a text In possibly my most Too Much Information podcast yet, we talk about bloody periods; Jamie gets wet; I am very grateful not to be in a restaurant with small children; there is rather a lot of blood (definitely not one for the squeamish); we talk feline vasectomies; Biff and Chip get turned into a TV show and almost every single one of…
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Send us a text In which it is a bit bloody hot, and I am Not At One with the sun; my children fail to work suncream; I develop a frankly genius business idea and plan my pitch to Dragons' Den; everyone over the age of 50 bangs on about the Great Summer of 1976; I confess to one of my secret fears, and appall my teacher with my water saving suggesti…
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Send us a text In which Mr IKINTST and I celebrate 21 years of being together with a romantic weekend away..... with the children; I reveal why I Don't Do Tents; Jamie and I are utterly appalling at golf (and easily distracted by giant lizards); those five years (FIVE YEARS) of swimming lessons finally pay off; Jamie confesses to a slightly obsessi…
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Send us a text In which I think we can safely conclude that the fitted sheet is the most dickish household object of all time; the sun FINALLY comes out; I take a social media break and celebrate 12 years of blogging; the phrase "piss on your chips" absolutely baffles me; I go rogue and do another podcast which is Not This One; my children prove th…
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Send us a text In which I get my first Covid vaccine (SO grateful) and have a little cry of joy; we have a bonkers week; Jamie experiences an emotional rollercoaster; cats continue to be twats; Beth gets extremely confused about organ donation; my dad and I have a slightly surreal experience on a train; I take a trip down memory lane and reminisce …
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Send us a text In which I get utterly drenched (nothing to do with the sex); Andie McDowell irritates me; Beth picks up a football injury; I book my Covid vaccine; Jamie is traumatised; it's time for Beth to have sex ed (and I sincerely hope that her teacher has sufficient gin to recover from the experience); the Joy of Sex thoroughly confuses me; …
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Send us a text In which I am exceedingly livid; I fail abjectly to manage to lie in; the moon is completely unreasonable; replacing my walking shoes proves to be ****ing IMPOSSIBLE; jeans shopping is a total cock and clothes sizing is evil; I have an unfortunate altercation in the Next changing rooms; I stupidly enter into a bet with Beth, and live…
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Anyone know what to do with a celeriac?
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Send us a text In which I still have not a bloody clue what day the bins go out; the kittens turn two (and remain complete ****ing liabilities); I have an unwelcome midnight visitor; we celebrate the brilliance of girls in sport; I absolutely mortify my children; we discuss the #stoponlineabuse campaign and why it's really, really important to just…
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Send us a text In which I reminisce back to the halcyon days of HELL ON EARTH sleep deprivation; I reveal my greatest - and most ridiculous - phobia; we discuss the Lies We Tell Small Children; I reminisce over sweating out neat gin, poolside; some of my missing body parts are restored; Beth experiences Ketchup-Gate; I wax lyrical on the joys of be…
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Send us a text In which I talk at length on the many and varied reasons why I am categorically Not A Runner; I explain why you really don't want Jamie as a passenger in your car; I share probably the blog's greatest achievement to date; my dad receives a somewhat startling reward for the completion of a half marathon; I discover that it's impossibl…
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"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE MOVED THE MUGS!!!"
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Send us a text In which I eat a shit load of Easter eggs and fail miserably at Easter hunts; I prove why I am not to be trusted in charge of a hacksaw; we discuss whether folding your socks will bring joy to your life; the synchronisation of periods utterly mystifies me; apparently Prince Philip is dead, which you would be unlikely to know about gi…
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I've never been so happy not to be able to feel my own face
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Send us a text In which I lose yet another ****ing body part; the podcast hits TEN THOUSAND downloads; I relive the sheer and abject joy which was Beth's wedding; we celebrate our wedding anniversary with "The Terrible Jamie", and Beth serves up some bargain champagne; there is a much needed return to normality, and I freeze my own vagina off in th…
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Introducing........................ MR IKINTST!!!
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Send us a text In which the podcast welcomes its first ever guest...... Mr IKINTST!!! We celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary by recording a podcast together; Jamie proves that he should never be trusted in charge of a Covid test, and gets thoroughly confused about the origins of Dame Judi Dench; we relive the glorious days of Betamax and share o…
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