Episode 15: The Mystery of Life, Death, and Suffering with Drew Boa

Initiations in Love Podcast

In this episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, host Britta Eskey engages in a profound conversation with Drew Boa, founder of Husband Material. They explore the themes of love, grief, and the transformative power of loss through Drew's personal experience of losing his son, Josiah. The discussion delves into the awakening that comes from facing deep suffering, the importance of seeking help, and the lessons learned about presence and compassion. Drew shares how his journey has reshaped his understanding of love, connection and God, emphasizing the mystery of life and death, and the significance of being present for others in their suffering.

EPISODE TRIGGER WARNING: Anencephaly and infant loss.

Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow pornography as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). Drew has worked with hundreds of men healing all kinds of sexual issues. Drew is the author of Redeemed Sexuality and host of the Husband Material Podcast, a top 1% show. Drew lives in Colorado Springs, CO with his wife and three kids. His favorite activity is trail running.

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Resources and References

• Britta’s Book- Initiations in Love

• Britta’s Heart CORe Group Coaching Program

• The Husband Material Website

• Husband Material on Instagram

Show Notes

1:15 - Heart CORe Group Coaching Program with Britta Eskey

3:00 - Britta introduces special guest, Drew Boa!

4:21 - Britta defines the term “Initiations” as we understand and hold it at COR

4:42 - Drew introduces the Initiation in Love that he will be talking about today, and how he felt in the moment it began

7:12 - Drew explains his deep connection with his son, Josiah, that has continued to grow after Josiah’s death - and how Drew’s understanding of love has shifted because of that connection

9:46 - Drew details his opening to the unknown, and acceptance of the mystery of life and death in the wake of the loss of his son

13:33 - Drew describes the clarity around his family’s decision that his wife carry his son to term, and some of the gifts they received, because of that decision

16:06 - Drew reflects on what The Call stage was for him in this initiation

19:32 - Britta and Drew discuss anger as a messenger

22:40 - (TW: infant loss) Drew recounts his Transformation Cauldron, beginning with Josiah’s birth story

26:20 - Drew details the big moment that lead to his healing after Josiah’s passing, and all the ways Josiah has continued to be a gift to him

29:04 - Britta asks Drew to go into more detail around the moment when Drew chose to leave the room after the birth of Josiah

30:52 - Britta further discusses how detrimental e self-judgment is, and how important self-compassion is, especially in extremely difficult situations that bring us to the edge of our capacity.

32:19 - Drew shares how his capacity for love expanded as he emerged from this deep grief

34:19 - Drew and Britta validate the trauma responses as important messengers, in terms of to what we may need in any given moment

37:45 - Britta requests that Drew read some of the notes of family members and friends regarding the gifts they received from Josiah, as an example of what can happen if we take an initiation all the way through

40:20 - Drew offers his advice for those in deep suffering

43:43 - Drew expands on his thoughts of the idea of presence

44:09 - Britta brings the episode to a close

44:34 - Heart CORe Group Coaching Program reminder