Now Is the Time

Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear

At this time, we are supposed to feel that our judgment is pending, and it is in our hands to get the best of everything. We need to utilize these days of Aseret Yemei Teshuva , to accept upon ourselves to become better, to make teshuva for what we have done wrong in the past, and to pray with all of our heart and soul. If there is anything we want, now is the greatest time for prayer. A person who has been waiting for so long to get married has to feel that he can get his salvation right now. A rosh yeshiva from Israel told me that in his yeshiva, they auction off the zechut of dedicating the יהא שמיה רבה of each Kaddish on the Yamim Noraim to the one who purchases it. This means that when the yeshiva boys answer אמן יהא שמיה רבה ..., praising the name of Hashem, they also have in mind a salvation for that person in need. Last year, a boy aged thirty, who had been trying very hard with Shidduchim for almost ten years, had almost decided to give up. Nothing ever went his way, and he wanted to just put it out of his mind, rather than continuing with the misery he was experiencing. Someone then told him of the miraculous salvation people have had by purchasing the zechut of the יהא שמיה רבה in that particular yeshiva in Israel. They convinced him to fly to Israel for Yom Kippur to get the zechut for himself. And that's what he did. Baruch Hashem, this year, he was zocheh to get married to a girl two years older than him. Until now, he never would have considered dating someone older than him. But in the zechut of that יהא שמיה רבה , Hashem did something to make it click in his head to try, and now he couldn't be happier. As an aside, sometimes people feel they have certain conditions they need to get married, but in reality, the zivug that Hashem has for them may not fulfill those conditions. We must be open to everything and give Hashem the "ability" to bring a person the zivug that He has had waiting for him since before they were born. I read a story in a Shalom Bayit book authored by Rabbi Nachum Diamant. A man went out with a girl and had a great time, but there was something about her looks that bothered him. She was cross-eyed. It was something that he didn't feel he could look past, but he discussed it with his rabbi first, and his rabbi encouraged him to go out a second time. The second date was even better than the first. Their personalities really clicked, but this problem was still weighing him down. He decided to continue, and then on one of the dates, he told the girl that he really wanted to marry her, but he didn't know if he could get past this issue. He mentioned there was a surgery she could do to fix it. Many girls in that situation may have gotten insulted and ended it on the spot, but Hashem guided this girl to say that she would agree to do the surgery. They got married relatively quickly before she actually got the surgery, and then she found out she was expecting, and they had to delay the surgery until after she gave birth. Finally, after she had the baby, she brought up the topic, saying she was ready for the surgery. He then said, "I think you are perfect just the way you are. Now I feel that your cross-eyes are part of your charm." When someone gets to know another person for who they are, suddenly the things they thought that would really bother them really don't. Part of getting a yeshuah in Shidduchim is being open when suggestions are made. No matter how long it has been, salvation can always come in the blink of an eye, and now is the time to pray with all of our might for yeshuot in all areas.