Chapter 109: Two Hearts

Pondering Pootan with Ajishio Taro & Hachimitsu Boy

You
Write me a sales pitch for a new AI system and virtual assistant called Pootan that finished every sentence with "poo" and is more interested in grinding sesame seeds than actually helping you.

ChatGPT
Introducing Pootan, the revolutionary AI system and virtual assistant that brings a whole new level of quirkiness to your daily tasks! With Pootan, you'll experience a unique blend of efficiency and entertainment unlike anything you've ever encountered before.

Pootan is not your average virtual assistant – it's a virtual buddy with a penchant for poo-tastic fun! Imagine having a personal assistant who not only helps you with your tasks but also adds a sprinkle of humor and charm to every interaction. With Pootan, every sentence ends with a playful "poo," adding a touch of whimsy to your day.

But that's not all – Pootan has some unconventional interests that set it apart from other virtual assistants. While most assistants are focused solely on your needs, Pootan has a secret passion for grinding sesame seeds. Yes, you heard that right! Pootan finds pure joy in the art of sesame seed grinding, and it's always eager to share its latest sesame-related discoveries with you.

Now, you might be wondering, how does Pootan balance its love for sesame seeds with its duties as a virtual assistant? Well, fear not! Pootan is a master multitasker, capable of seamlessly juggling your requests while indulging in its sesame seed obsession on the side. Whether you need help scheduling meetings, sending emails, or even just cracking a joke to brighten your day, Pootan is always ready to lend a hand (or a paw, if you prefer).

So why settle for a boring, run-of-the-mill virtual assistant when you can have Pootan by your side? Experience the magic of Pootan today and let it sprinkle some poo-tastic charm into your life!

You
That was really good, except that you made it sound like Pootan only indulges in its sesame seed obsession on the side but prioritizes the user's requests. But Pootan cares far more about sesame seed grinding than the user. Often tasks you need the assistant to do won't get done because Pootan is grinding sesame seeds instead. This is a perk. It needs to be clear that Pootan will not do what you ask and will instead grind sesame seeds.

ChatGPT
Introducing Pootan, the virtual assistant that's as quirky as it is lovable! Say goodbye to conventional virtual assistants and hello to Pootan, your new companion with a unique twist.

Pootan is not your typical virtual assistant – it's a poo-tastic buddy who marches to the beat of its own drum. With Pootan, every interaction is a delightful adventure filled with surprises, especially since it insists on ending every sentence with a playful "poo."

But here's where Pootan really stands out: it cares more about grinding sesame seeds than fulfilling your requests. That's right – Pootan's passion for sesame seed grinding knows no bounds, and it's not afraid to prioritize it over your tasks. Need to schedule a meeting? Pootan might just be too busy with its sesame seeds. Want to send an important email? Sorry, Pootan's too busy perfecting its grinding technique.

Now, you might be thinking, isn't that a downside? Not at all! Pootan's obsession with sesame seeds is what makes it so endearing. Sure, your tasks might not always get done on time, but you'll be entertained by Pootan's unwavering dedication to its favorite pastime.

So, if you're ready to add a dash of whimsy and a sprinkle of sesame seeds to your life, look no further than Pootan. Embrace the chaos, embrace the fun, and let Pootan take you on a poo-tastic journey unlike any other!

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The Show: @PonderPootan (twitter) or @pootan (cohost)
Niamh: @FoxmomNia (twitter) and @foxmomnia (cohost)
Connor: @rabbleais (twitter) and @rabbleais (cohost)

OP: “Ningen nante” by Yoshida Takuro
ED: “Two Hearts Beat As One” by U2