When Should You Bend RPG Rules? Handling Players Who Want to Adjust Game Mechanics They Don’t Like

3 Wise DMs

Not every player is OK playing RPGs by the rules as they’re written. Some can’t even get through character creation without asking the DM to make some kind of mechanical adjustment. This may seem like an easy situation – do it my way or play with someone else – but it’s not always that simple. Sometimes the change may look harmless. Other times it’s a house rule you want to play with. And in rare occasions, it can become a battle of wills between the DM and a player constantly trying to twist rules to fit what they want to do, often without even asking first.

How do you handle those situations? Clearly, the players are invested enough in the game to be thinking about how things could be better, but they can also cause massive power imbalances, an expectation that every player can bend the rules, and an overall broken game vibe.

Those very questions came up for a couple of our readers this week. Listen in as Thorin, Tony and Dave help these D&D 5E DMs figure out how to handle a player who wants to play a wizard without memorizing spells and a veteran who misinterprets the rules for his own benefit, much to the DM’s frustration.

2:00 2 listener questions about players bending rules

4:00 The RAW to Rule of Cool Spectrum: How firm are the rules in your game?

8:00 Does removing D&D’s weird Vancian magic system break the Wizard class?

11:00 Called shots: How RAW and Rule of Cool change the game and beg the question, “Why can’t I”?

14:00 When bending the rules isn’t innocent and makes that PC better than everyone else

24:00 Negotiating with a player who wanted to bend the rules

28:00 If you’re going to let a player bend the rules, tie it to an item or boon that you can take away if it goes wrong

34:00 Making PC deities: Some of our adventures with homebrew power and abilities

37:00 How we handle players who want to bend the rules that we may or may not agree with

48:00 Handling a player who keeps misrepresenting the rules in their favor

58:00 Final thoughts