The graph that changed my life: STOP chasing ‘better’ and START getting REAL

The Clark Kegley Podcast

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This video might be the most important thing we can talk about. We're talking about your dark side. Now, I don't mean dark as in evil—we're not talking about blood rituals hooded in a forest where we're chanting. I mean the dark side that we all have within us. It's the reason you self-sabotage your goals, it's the reason you push good people away in relationships, and it's the reason that's holding you back from making the amount of money you want. The good news is that once you know this chart that we're talking about in this video, change can happen really fast for you.

We're keeping it really simple and real, so without further ado, I'll explain this chart. We'll apply it to you in several areas such as money, relationships, happiness, and then I'll give you the solution of how to fix this. I do want to give credit to Sam Ovens, where I picked up this chart from for the first time, and it changed my life. Here we have a basic oscillation chart, and you'll notice right here there's negative 1, 2, and 3, and then there's positive 1, 2, and 3. This represents your life, gaining +3, minus +3, gaining +2, minus +2, +1, minus one. Well, what does that net out to? It nets out to zero, as if you didn't have any of the positives because they're wiped out by some of the negatives. This is the cycle that controls your life, and this part right here is what is known as your dark side, or you can use the word your shadow side—the parts of you that are holding you back or self-sabotaging. And until you recognize this cycle, it's going to run your life.

To kick this off, when I was 25, I was struggling financially, and it wasn't that I didn't work. I was working three jobs in college at once. I'd been working unofficially since I was 12 and got caught shoplifting Red Bulls wearing eyeliner and a My Chemical Romance shirt—thought I was really punk rock, story for another time. Parents like, "We're not paying for this, dude." I had to get a job and work as a golf caddy, carrying rich people's clubs and watching them throw fits when they missed the ball and break a club—it was real-life Happy Gilmore. "Son of a b, why didn't you just go home? Are you too good for your home?" So, I added up all the jobs because I was like, "Dude, I've been working since I was 12 years old, how do I have not a single dollar to show for this?" And I realized this lesson: I would make money, and then bills would come up, and then I would make some money, and I would spend it. I would make some money and find a way to spend it, and that netted out to $0. And that pattern didn't go away. Making more money, say $10,000 a month—good amount, I thought so too—until I looked back on the year of my first six-figure year. "How do I only have $5,000 left over?" This pattern appeared again where I would make $10,000, and I would spend $8,000, $9,000, $10,000, and it netted out to zero. And that's when I got really frustrated. I'm like, "I didn't work those 20 jobs by 25 for fun. I worked them to get ahead, yet I had nothing to show for it." This is the easiest way to illustrate this point: it's not about the money you make; it's about the money you keep. And that if you make a million dollars but you spend a million and one, you are worse off than the person who's making 50 and saving 30.

Refusing to settle,

Clark