Off-Planet transmission 011: condiments_apidae_disasters

The Gonarch's Lair and Off-Planet podcasts

011: condiments_apidae_disasters Life in the pod appears to have become too bland for subject B: he bemoans the lack of flavour in their rations and so, in an effort to fool his tastebuds, sparks a conversation with his compatriot about condiments. In a further attempt to inject some spice into their existence, subject A suggests they seek stimulation by landing on the nearest planet. While highly irregular, I would gladly chaperone and observe this excursion, if only to study first-hand how their bodies react to an alien atmosphere. Talk of animals yet again dominated the session, this time a rather crude fact detailing the results of bee intercourse took centre stage. Once their obsession with insect genetalia subsided, they pondered the ingestion of animal by-products: an ethical dilemma faced by vegans every day on their home planet. The concept of attaching guilt to a food source feels entirely foreign to me: when you are capable of devouring an entire species as an appetiser, you rarely reserve time to consider the impact on ecosystems. The focus of their conversation then switched to natural disasters. I understand Earth was rather susceptible to these catastrophic events, causing untold destruction and sorrow. Humans failed to master the elements and live in harmony with the climate as we have, their reluctance to embrace a nomadic existence also resulted in more costly infrastructure damage. Our ancestors learned to adapt to a planets violent and dynamic environment aeons ago, accepting that we are merely passengers; theirs refused to allow nature dictate where they could settle, demonstrating an admirable arrogance when facing annihilation. I have grown rather fond of both inhabitants over my time spent analysing them, I’m starting to think our initial intel on their true nature isn’t entirely accurate. They may even be tame enough to keep as domesticated companions, once they are fully house-trained. Signed, An Observer Intermission: Interior Applause - What Is A Life? by Jack Lancaster and Trap.Sin.Delete