Pride and Resilience: A Transgender Adoptee's Path with Sanjay Pulver - Ep 151

Unraveling Adoption

"Being trans was not in my product description, and my 30-day money-back guarantee return policy has long since expired." -- Sanjay Pulver

Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01J0SD1AHPJ1FJB1CNPPBS59TC

Episode Synopsis

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Sanjay Pulver, a transracial intercountry adoptee from India, who shared his unique journey as a trans man raised by white parents in San Diego, California. Sanjay's story sheds light on the complexities of being an adoptee and navigating the intersections of adoption, gender identity, and cultural heritage.

Sanjay shared his origin story, revealing his relinquishment in a small village outside of Hyderabad, India, and his subsequent adoption journey to the United States. He discussed the challenges of not having access to information about his biological family and the cultural barriers in India that hinder reunion efforts for adoptees.

The conversation delved into Sanjay's experience of questioning his gender identity from a young age and his journey towards transitioning, both socially and medically. He candidly discussed the complexities of coming out as a lesbian before transitioning and the mixed reactions from his adoptive parents, who initially wanted a daughter from India.

As a trans adoptee, Sanjay highlighted the additional layers of identity and the challenges he faces in finding acceptance and understanding within both the adoptee and LGBTQ+ communities. He emphasized the importance of allyship and respect for trans individuals, urging listeners to prioritize using correct pronouns and avoiding invasive questions about surgeries or procedures.

The episode also touched on the dangers and legislative challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate, emphasizing the need for support and advocacy to ensure the safety and well-being of the trans community.

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RESOURCES:

Sanjay’s information:

• Find Sanjay on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sanjay.pulver/

• Listen to Sanjay’s episode on Haley Radke’s Adoptees On podcast: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/276

Other Resources:

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

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• 00:05:30 - Adoption Trends from India: Sanjay Pulver discusses the history and trends of intercountry adoption from India.

• 00:08:03 - Questioning Gender Identity: Sanjay shares about when he started questioning his gender identity.

• 00:09:35 - Transitioning Process: Sanjay talks about his process of transitioning, both socially and medically.

• 00:11:07 - Parental Acceptance: Discussion on how Sanjay's adoptive parents reacted to his coming out as gay.

• 00:12:53 - Fear of Rejection: Sanjay expresses his concerns about potential rejection from his adoptive parents due to his gender identity.

• 00:14:13 - Reunion Considerations: Sanjay reflects on the complexities of potentially reuniting with his birth family in India.

• 00:17:43 - Transgender Rights: Sanjay highlights the challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate.

• 00:19:48 - Allyship for Trans People: Sanjay provides insights on how individuals can be better allies to the trans community.

• 00:22:43 - Respectful Communication: Discussion on the importance of respectful communication and boundaries when interacting with trans individuals.

• 00:24:03 - Support and Connection: Sanjay shares his contact information and future projects related to adoptees and the LGBTQ+ community.

• 00:27:00 - Advocacy and Recognition: Sanjay emphasizes the importance of advocacy for marginalized communities and recognition of trans elders.