PHIL: We have a peaceful relationship. We don’t quarrel, attack each other or act passive-aggressively. Magic, huh? We do this through trust, acceptance and choosing to live peacefully. Our values are aligned so we can always find a point of … Let’s Create Peace in the World, One Relationship at a Time Read More »…

PHIL: A few days ago, I had the sense that I wasn’t giving you enough attention; that I was wrapped up in myself and my thoughts and resented being disturbed and intruded on. I thought that that’s not a very … A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

When you practice fairness in your relationships, it is transforming. It is a quiet yet powerful type of assurance that acknowledges without words that you are always on the same side, wishing the best for each other, and knowing that it is mutual. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

MAUDE: We wrote a post last week about dealing with strong negative or difficult reactions to the decisions, actions and behaviors of others, most particularly those with whom you have deep relationships. We suggested turning inside and looking at your … How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships Read More »…

This week several things happened that illustrate an important aspect of experiencing peace within relationships. MAUDE: My older son and his wife just purchased a condo in Mammoth. They decided to celebrate that with the family and invited us all … How to Replace Blame With Honesty in Your Relationships Read More »…

Hi, Phil and Maude here. We had a conversation the other evening about a different way to respond to the variance between each of us. We like, recorded it on a phone and, um, kind of cleaned it up a … A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

MAUDE: One of the many things that happened this week was a visit from a very dear friend, who stayed with us for over a week. This visit was profound, yet simple and easy at the same time. It gave … How It’s Possible to Practice Acceptance in Your Relationships Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

PHIL: We had a couple of heart-to-heart conversations this week; one about desires on my part, and one about the desires of Maude. I don’t want to describe them because they both involved other people, and the point of mentioning … How to Remove Tension and Find Peace in Your Relationships Read More »…

PHIL: I want to jam on the idea that all people are different. No one is exactly like anyone else. So in your relationships, especially the close ones, you’re going to run into differences. They’re inevitable. The fact that the … How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

MAUDE: In our post last week, we wrote about the struggles we have all been going through in the tense situation before this country’s election, the raging wars in the world, climate change, and the overall uncertainty and anxiety caused … It’s Important to Know You Can Choose Peaceful Relationships Read More »…

We share an inner peace that is beyond any of the effects of the changing world we live in. This path of peace never wavers and serves to strengthen our individual struggles. Find and create a Sacred Space for yourself. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Speaking directly doesn’t happen naturally because we all create a persona for the outside world. It’s easy to take that feeling into a relationship, but here’s why that is a bad idea: it’s a limitation on feeling our full self; we cannot sit comfortably at the center of our being. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Today is our wedding anniversary and it brought us to reflect on what we have learned about the potentials of all relationships from the experience of ours. Here are our musings on just that for our blog this week. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Yesterday was The International Day of Peace. It’s a great time to think of what you are doing within your own life to make peace a living reality. Here’s an example of one of our favorite projects: I Declare World … Peace in a Relationship—How Can it Change the World? Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

One of the steps to a peaceful relationship is honesty. When you share honestly with another, you set aside fears and defenses. You can share a bit and when you are accepted and respected, when you feel seen and heard, you dare to open a bit more. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

One of the signs of a peaceful relationship is when the element of service to the other person is a core value for that relationship. Learning what this is takes paying attention to the other person, and being open to listen and hear what they might need or want for support. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Every relationship feels entirely different when you are truly present in it. This difference can be recognized by both parties, whether consciously or unconsciously. When you have the experience of each person being present, many of the fears that people bring to relationships dissolve. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

The most important element to creating and maintaining peaceful relationships is that both people share peace as a central Core Value. This is not having thoughts of peace in some theoretical sense; it is experiencing peace as a visceral reality. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Most relationships will blossom when they have acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgment as an underpinning. In any relationship, it is important to be accepted for who we are, to be appreciated for who we are, and to be acknowledged for who we are. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

The extent to which you have a feeling of support in your relationships will determine your sense of calm, serenity and peace. It consists of both giving and receiving. There is joy in this sense of mutual support. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

All too often, people become so used to the contact and connection in their relationships that they start to take them for granted. You stop really noticing the experience of that connection; how it makes you feel, why you treasure it, why it’s so important. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Watch for the dangers we all face every day of succumbing to doubt, loss of hope, or just plain tiredness. Turn to your relationships. Listen to the quiet and strength of hope you can find within yourself and each other. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Speaking your position that has two benefits. The fact of putting it into words makes it much clearer, and the more specific the words are the clearer you can be. And having spoken it, you can start to move past it. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Peaceful relationships can come down to whether or not you speak with respect, love and kindness in your tone of voice and basic attitude, as this kind of communication creates an environment of calm, openness and comfort. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

You know the feeling of being at odds with another person? Don't go there in the first place, and if you're in there, get out. Don’t just look at what the other person is doing; look at what you are doing, too. Focus on finding a resolution that works for both of you. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

We have a direct experience of a peaceful relationship, we’ve had it since our early days, and it has remained completely consistent. It is so different from our previous relationships that we feel compelled to write about it. Our message is that it exists, therefore it is possible. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Trust comes from openness and sharing, being interested in who the other person is, interacting without being defensive, wishing the best possible outcome for each other, and coming from love, not fear. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

When you are in a conflict, stop, center yourself, breathe, and ask yourself what is important here. This pulls you into the present and gives you the opportunity to stop being reactive, and instead, choose a better way to respond. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

It is a common belief that conflicts are inevitable even in the most loving of relationships, but when the underlying needs are examined, it is nearly always possible to find a mutual solution. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

The sense of loving connection between two people is the heart of every relationship. It is important to take the time to feel and recognize the connection, and to develop the sense of what makes each one precious and unique in its own way. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Why aren’t people totally honest with each other? Maybe they think it will cause strife in the relationship. But strife isn’t the only reason for not being honest; shame is, too. There is something you are uncomfortable sharing, but you need to regard honesty as more important than shame. Read more ›…

When you are in the present with another person, it is a palpable experience. You can strongly feel when someone is actually there with you, just as you can feel when they are not. Share your inner life with the other person for the best possible relationship. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

The importance of letting people know you see and appreciate them carries into all encounters. You can make a person’s day just by saying thank you or smiling at them. It doesn’t take much effort and makes a world of difference. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

The more you have the experience of peace, the living experience of it, the more you will be attracted to it. It is such an exquisite sensation that it’s very attractive. The more you experience it, the more you know the path to get to that place. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

We show respect by the way we treat each other: by our tone of voice, our willingness to listen, to accept the inevitable differences of personality and behavior. We show it by our love and our kindness; by the empathy we feel and the warmth, safety and comfort we give. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

One of the things that often causes misunderstandings in relationships is perceived slights. These are small things, but if you are not communicating openly and honestly, these presumed slights may slowly turn into a mountain of accumulated wrongdoings. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

There are multiple ways to solve a problem. Once you share the same values with someone, you can deal with decisions and disagreements without generating rancor, and by exploring, you can find a solution that works for both of you. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

A close relationship is fundamentally different from others as it is built upon openness and honesty, both in sharing and accepting. This creates trust, which allows you to be more open, which creates more trust, and so on. When you are not actively creating conflict, you can actively create peace. Read more ›…

For an enrichment of your relationships and a more joyous way of being together, ask yourself, “What stops me from embracing differences?” “Why am I rejecting or trying to modify what seems different?” and “What will it take for me to move into trust and acceptance?” Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Understanding the quality of uniqueness holds a key for peaceful relating. There is only one of each person. That means that each of you has contributions and insights and ways of being to offer that can only come from you, and the same for each other person. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Your core values affect everything that you do and decide, including how you feel and respond to other people. Having matching or complementary core values with another person is necessary for a peaceful relationship. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

For the last few weeks, we have been writing about subtle aspects of peaceful relationships. It is now time to describe the five principles for creating peaceful relationships, of which these subtle aspects are a part. These are: Knowing and … The Five Fundamentals of Peaceful Relationships Read More »…

PHIL: I suggested that we write about the sense of equality between us, but Maude said that she sees equality as a measuring word, a counting up of who has done what, so she doesn’t relate to it, and it’s … How to Create Peaceful Relationships by Balancing Your Differences Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

PHIL: We were talking about why we have a peaceful relationship and came up with the idea of a shared reality. This seems to fit what happens when we talk about us, about how we are. One of us will … How to Find Your Shared Reality and Create Peaceful Relationships Read More »Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

MAUDE: Recently a dear friend wrote to me describing an experience she was having with the people helping her repair her house after severe rain damage: I have enjoyed deeply spiritual experiences this week with the various tradesmen I have … How to Make a Better World Through Your Relationships Read More »…

What are the threads of a peaceful relationship? They lie in the steadfastness of that connection. In every peaceful relationship, whether a friendship, relation, or a romantic one, there has to be both a feeling that the connection is solid and a lack of any need to question that. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Phil and I hit a bump the other day. It was to do with the allocation of funds, although the subject really isn’t the important part. It was a rough one. That was so unusual that we took a look at it together afterwards, and had this conversation. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Total honesty is a major part of a harmonious relationship. Holding back in the sense of not presenting yourself totally means that you are not quite yourself when you’re with the other person. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

Formulating your values and having an ever increasing awareness of what they are gives you a strong tool to move toward inner peace and peace within your relationships. The more you know your values, the easier you will find it to build relationships that bring satisfaction and fulfillment. Read more ›…

If you want peace in the world, and believe it is possible, then the same should be the case in your relationships. Come from a place of mutuality, rather than individuality. Read more ›Por Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships