Don't be a victim: Get relationship empowered

Dr Sarah: Heal Trauma Bonding

In this discussion, I want to talk about the dynamic of victimhood within relationships. It's a challenging topic, and I always aim to be honest, even if the conversation is uncomfortable. My intention is rooted in compassion and love to help you improve, heal, and progress. If you feel triggered, seek support and prioritize self-care.

Victimhood in relationships often involves blaming a partner for causing hurt. While it's valid to acknowledge harmful behaviors, consistently pointing fingers can disempower you. A prevalent trend is labeling behaviors as toxic but continuously blaming the partner. This approach inadvertently gives them power and control over you.

The Karpman drama triangle illustrates that when feeling like a victim, one may identify a persecutor (the bad guy) and wait for a rescuer to save them. This dynamic puts a lot of responsibility on the person who caused the harm. While it's natural to hope for change and apologies, relying on external validation perpetuates victimhood.

The key is to recognize that your emotions are valid without needing someone else to acknowledge them. Empowerment comes from internal resources, and pointing fingers or waiting for validation from the person who hurt you keeps you in a disempowered state. True empowerment involves looking inward, recognizing your worth, and redirecting the energy you use to support others towards yourself.

Breaking the cycle of victimhood requires understanding that you don't need external validation to heal. Instead, focus on labeling behaviors, not individuals, and ask yourself, "What now?" Embrace self-validation, tap into your internal resources, and consider how you would support a friend in a similar situation. Empowerment involves stepping out of victimhood, gathering resources, seeking professional support, and rewiring your internal framework.

In an empowered state, you become less likely to attract negative energy and can respond differently to hurtful behaviors. Ultimately, the goal is to hold your power in the relationship, refusing to give someone else control over your emotions.

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LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
Instagram @dr.sarahalsawy
Website www.healtraumabonding.com
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