The Terms of Estrangement - Definitions and Implications (Extended)

When Our Adult Children Walk Away

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Adult children involved in estrangement often use specific terms and phrases to articulate their feelings and experiences. Newly estranged parents must understand and adopt these terms in today's context to fully grasp what their adult child tells them.

It is not unusual for parents to become frustrated and feel imposed upon when they learn the new definitions and meanings of words and phrases. It may be helpful to know that the overuse of words and the evolution of their meaning is not a new phenomenon. Think back to when you were a young adult and you'll find plenty of terms we used in ways our parents no longer recognized.

When terms become pedestrian or overused, they become overly familiar and perhaps even clichéd. The original meaning of a term or phrase becomes diluted and generalized.
Several terms or phrases used by estranged adult children have been used so frequently over time that they have lost their emotional impact and fail to capture the nuanced experiences and feelings in the same way as in the past. Conversations can quickly become twisted and tangled if there are significant differences in past definitions and what terms mean today. The adult child and parent can leave a conversation with hurt feelings from unintended messages. I call this a communication disconnect.

This episode's purpose is to assist parents in understanding key terms and phrases commonly used in our adult child's world. Importantly, learn them in today's context.
I recommend that if you listen to this episode and get frustrated and want to debate, let it go. Don't scoff, don't dismiss and don't be offended. Instead, dedicate your energy to adopting the new meanings and get comfortable using them accordingly. Your adult child may take note of your determination to 'get on board' with them.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this episode. Feel free to message me through the Contact Janet feature of the whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com website. Make sure to leave contact information so I can respond.

For more information, please go to https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com to find resources, strategies and tips to prepare to repair!

The continuum of estrangement discussed today can be found at https://www.togetherestranged.org/levels-of-estrangement.