The Good Mom vs. The Punishing Mom: Reflections on My Childhood with My Narcissist Mother

You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Growing up with a narcissistic or borderline parent means constantly navigating two versions of them—the loving, "good" parent and the punishing, unpredictable one. In this episode, I reflect on how caring for my sick daughter brought up memories of my own childhood—where empathy was absent, and love often came with conditions.

I’ll explore how these experiences shaped my understanding of parenting, the emotional complexity of breaking the cycle, and the self-gaslighting that happens when you’ve been conditioned to question your own reality. If you’re working to parent differently than you were raised, or are working through gaslighting yourself about your own childhood, this episode is for you!

In this episode, we’ll discuss:
✔ How parenting can trigger childhood trauma and unresolved emotions
✔ The duality of love and cruelty in a relationship with a BPD/NPD parent
✔ Why emotional neglect leaves lasting scars—and how to heal
✔ Overcoming self-doubt and breaking the cycle of generational trauma
✔ The role of empathy and accountability in healthy parenting
✔ Creating the safe, loving environment you never had as a child

Here's how else I can help:

Register for my upcoming free workshop, How to Set Boundaries with a BPD or NPD Parent:
confidentboundaries.com/boundariesworkshop

Learn more about the Confident Boundaries Online Community: confidentboundaries.com/join

Work with me in Coaching:
confidentboundaries.com/coaching

Follow me on Instagram:
instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries
Watch You're Not Crazy on YouTube:
youtube.com/@torieatconfidentboundaries

Torie Wiksell is a therapist and coach who specializes in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Torie brings a unique perspective having spent years working with clients with personality disorders and growing up with a mother with BPD. Torie provides online therapy to clients located in WA, OR, and CA, and online coaching internationally.
Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you are in mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and...

Capítulos

1. The Good Mom vs. The Punishing Mom: Reflections on My Childhood with My Narcissist Mother (00:00:00)

2. Reflecting on Childhood and Parenting (00:01:04)

3. Navigating Relationships With Emotionally Unstable Parents (00:10:32)

4. Navigating Trauma and Healing (00:21:25)