09 | Being The First Or Only (CEO Series)

Ambition Without Compromise

NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to her

It’s lonely at the top.
I want to talk about creating something from something instead of the narrative we hear most prominently, which is creating something from nothing. There is merit in taking what you’ve been given and making something of those blessings. This conversation is important because I want you to see how exceptional you are for taking anything, even one step further than what you saw in your house or community.
We are experiencing all of this isolation out in the world by existing as the only person, the only woman who’s been able to achieve “XYZ.” Then we come back home, and we are with family, and a whole other level of isolation occurs. These folks who will lay their lives on the line for us, who love us deeply - they don’t understand us.
You can be incredibly proud of your humble beginnings, and you can say it sucks to be the only one on the outside as one of the few who are exceeding, who evolve. It’s hard to continue to excel and have this fear that you might grow too much and leave people behind. It is okay to say that that is hard. Don’t normalize it. Acknowledge it.
Hope exists. You do not have to do this alone. Take pride in your ability to leverage and connect with others because that is what a great leader does. It is okay to say that it is hard. But don’t insist upon your own isolation.
GEMS DROPPED

"Don't normalize being the first or only. Acknowledge that this is an isolating experience for me. You can acknowledge that, yes …, I am equipped with some of the skills I need to navigate this. I can figure this out. We don't need to bash our confidence around it, but we also need to hold space for the fact that this is a uniquely challenging circumstance to exist and to continue to excel in”.
“It's okay for you to claim moments in space where you can just say, this is too much or this feels unfair. There's an undue weight on me. That is not in any way expressing that you are not grateful for your community. That you are not grateful for where you come from. That you are in some way ashamed of where you come from. That is not an admittance of any of those things. They both can exist– you can be extremely proud of where you come from, your humble beginnings, or the humble beginnings of your family and friends in your community…and you can say it sucks to be one of the few who are exceeding that, who have been able to go and move beyond and expand and evolve. And it's hard to try to evolve with this fear of also not evolving too much and leaving folks behind. It's hard to hold both of those things at the same time. And it is okay to say that it's hard.”
“The beauty of getting older, wiser, and having more ownership and direction over our lives is that we get to redesign and choose to experience this next phase differently. Because I tell you what, everything that you've been building towards …the levels of success that you are experiencing now…it's going to be hard to keep moving the way you used to move and expect new growth to come from that. There comes a point in time where isolation will eat away at you and you will not be able to push through because we have been able to compensate with energy…that changes as we get older…”.
“Leaders are people who are great at seeking and finding good help… leveraging excellent help. That is what leadership is.”
“Make yourself available to the inner signals that tell you a connection is waiting for you.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to ambi