118. Overcoming as an Overachiever with Holly Bertone

FINE is a 4-Letter Word

A lot of us have a story about that time we hit rock bottom.

For some of us, we find out there's yet another rock bottom when the floor bursts out from the one we're on.

Then another.

What happens when you're looking for the safety net, like someone in a freefall, and it doesn't appear?

How does it feel when you have values but are physically incapable of living up to them - especially as an overachiever?

Holly Bertone was raised to put the values of honesty and integrity first. When she had the chance to go partying with her friends but she had a commitment, like a babysitting gig, her answer was obvious and did not require any thought. Her dad had a sign in his office that said "If you don't do, you don't get" and this simple mantra had a deep impact on her.

In school, she did a project studying the psychology of Charles Manson and became fascinated by how the human mind works. She dreamed of working for the FBI and chasing serial killers.

It took a few steps, but she got there - she became a chief of staff at the FBI.

Her career and her life were going fine - but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.

As an overachiever, she found out that when you raise yourself to that level, the falls that happen when events beyond your control intervene can be especially debilitating.

In 2010, she was diagnosed with cancer, and eventually developed Hashimoto's thyroiditis, an autoimmune disorder we've discussed on the show before.

In 2017, a series of events led to her forced resignation from the FBI.

She started a coaching practice, and just when she was getting traction, her divorce went into a whirlpool, and she couldn't even take on new clients.

When honesty and integrity and the belief "if you don't do, you don't get" are your core principles, yet you're so mentally and physically debilitated you can't get out of bed, that's a long, hard fall, especially for an overachiever.

In a moment, when you meet Holly, you’ll discover how it felt for her to be in a seemingly endless freefall asking, "what now"?

Discovering how to reconcile when events beyond her control conflict with her core beliefs has been a journey. And these events have required her to center herself around keeping going, never giving up, knowing her life is still a work in progress.

You'll also find out how much of it can be helped by brain chemicals.

Holly’s hype song is "Now That We Found Love" by Heavy D & The Boyz.

Resources:

• Holly Bertone’s website: https://pinkfortitude.com/
• Resources for listeners: https://academy.pinkfortitude.com/podcast-landing-welcome
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pinkfortitude/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holly.bertone/

Invitation from Lori:

Like Holly, you may reach a point where you feel you've achieved your dreams through a combination of honesty, integrity, and fortitude.

Then, life steps in and makes it physically impossible to continue.

At some level, you may know you need to take a step back to evaluate where everything's headed. But too many other things keep showing up and knocking you down and you can't get even a moment to gather yourself. So, what now?

The first step is to go to https://zenrabbit.com right now and download the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide.

Once you read it, you may see a new point of view that helps you understand and embrace things that, up until now, have not made sense to you. It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. And the five tactics are pretty simple, but once you follow even ONE of them, you’re in for a profound change.

When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, then this guide is the place to start. It’s time to blaze a new trail and chart a new course!